


Hands Of Gold Are Always Cold [ON HOLD]

by WhyAreAllUsernamesTaken



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Aged-Down Character(s), Alternate Universe - Medieval, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Blood and Violence, Character Death, M/M, Mystery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-05-12 01:48:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 40,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19219138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhyAreAllUsernamesTaken/pseuds/WhyAreAllUsernamesTaken
Summary: It was almost beautiful, the way the droplets reflected the light coming from the moon and made them glisten like they held a million little diamonds trapped inside.But then the diamonds turned into sharp shards of glass as they slowly got mixed with an ugly crimson, creating an almost taunting image, telling Jisung he was on the verge of losing what he held so dear.Jisung let out a shaky breath, one that sounded painful to his own ears, as he saw Minho struggling to keep his eyes from closing, shallow breaths ghosting Jisung’s cheek.‘’H-hyung... you can’t go to s-sleep, o-okay?,’’He saw Minho trying to listen, trying to fight off the pull but failing and Jisung slowly lost contact with those beautiful eyes.‘’...M-minho?,’’“The trust of the innocent is the liar’s most useful tool.”– Stephen King





	1. Sanctuary

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who's back?  
> For any of you who have read my other SKZ story: I know I said I was coming back after I had finished writing the whole story but I changed my mind. I'm going to upload and write at the same time so we'll see how that goes.
> 
> Anyhoes, this isn't as angsty as my other works so rest assured :) Doesn't mean it isn't going to hurt though cause that's how I roll.
> 
> Aiming for multiple updates a week but I know myself so that probably aint gonna happen xp
> 
> plot-twists bound to happen.

1404 A.D.

Europe.

 

It was a sunny day. After a harsh and dark winter, spring had finally arrived and the world was slowly starting to come back to life. The sky was as blue as it could be, not a single cloud in sight.

The wind blew quietly, making the grass in the endless fields dance. The little flowers that had bloomed already were left almost completely untouched. It was as if nature was protecting nature. The old looking after the young.

Right behind the grassy fields lay a little village named Bidueiro. At first glance it didn’t seem like much, just a bunch of little houses made from wood, straw and clay, but it was the lovely home of a couple dozen happy souls. The people there were kind, peaceful and loving. 

The effects of the last uprising couldn’t be seen, Its only scars present in the memory of the survivors. Of the wives left widowed, of the children left orphaned, of the parents who had to bury their own sons and daughters. And as awful that was, the people learned to pick their lives back up after years of mourning. They rebuilt their lives, their dreams, their futures.

The people of Bidueiro hadn’t suffered much casualties, only those who went to the capital to make a stand were lost. The village had been left unharmed for the most part, thereby keeping its serenity.

But as beautiful as the little village was, the forest that lay behind it was even prettier. The trees were tall with leaves glowing like emeralds when the sun hit them. Flowers with the most gorgeous shades and shapes were draped on the ground like an exquisite carpet, making it the home of the most fascinating animals, from graceful deer to magnificent owls.

And there, in the forest, was a boy admiring it all. 

That boy was Han Jisung.

Jisung lived in the village, always had. In his opinion it was the most beautiful place around. Not that he could give an unbiased opinion seeing as he had barely ventured out of the area. As much as he wanted to, him and his dad didn’t really see eye to eye on the subject.

Living with his dad, Han Dongwon, who was the blacksmith, meant that he spent most of his days helping out in the shop. After all, he was expected to take over from his father one day. Jisung didn’t think it was exciting as it sounded, but it was fun enough. He mostly did the more delicate jobs while his dad did the physically straining things that required muscle, skill and experience. 

When he was little, Jisung would try to convince his dad that he could do the more heavy things, but gave up when his father had actually let him one day, resulting in Jisung burning himself with the hot iron. His father had been upset, seven-year old Jisung had been bawling his eyes out and Felix had thought that the new scar that ran across Jisung’s ankle was cool.

His dad was always busy and had not a lot of time to spent with Jisung outside of the shop, but that didn’t mean that they didn’t have a good relationship. Jisung knew that his old man went out of his way to make sure that Jisung’s life was as comfortable as possible, even if this meant taking on more work than he could actually handle. Jisung had lost count of the nights his dad didn’t come home. Despite having a though life, His dad was kind and caring to those who needed it, with his only flaw being very protective. 

Too much for Jisung’s liking. 

He knew the old man meant well, but it was in conflict with his own adventurous spirit. He liked to roam free, discover new places where no human being would even begin to think to wander to. He never got far though. The only few times he actually got to leave the village was when his dad had to go to the neighbouring village to stock up on special materials that weren’t available on the market in Bidueiro. And even then Jisung had the strict orders to stick close to him, wear the hood of his cape and never look someone in the eye. 

Jisung would be able to wave off the weirdness of having to do those things if only his father wouldn’t look so anxious every time they went, his muscles visibly tensing up whenever they passed royal guards. And Jisung really didn’t get that. Seeing the royal guard was pretty rare, especially since they never came to Bidueiro, so in his humble opinion it was really cool to actually see them.

Jisung never got what the specific reason was for the seemingly stupid requests and he had asked many times but the answer was always the same - ‘’Just to make sure ,’’ his dad would say, over and over. Specifics were never given and Jisung had to do it with that, hoping his dad would come around someday.

Jisung snapped out of his thoughts as he almost tripped over his own feet. He could just barely regain his balance, preventing himself from faceplanting into the ground. The ground looked soft, but that didn’t mean it actually was. At least, not when gravity would mercilessly tug you down.

‘’Dammit Jisung, you’re not a little kid…,’’ he muttered out loud.

Jisung knew that he had always been a little clumsy, especially if he didn’t pay attention to what he was doing. He just couldn’t multitask. The fact that he was in the middle of the densely vegetated forest wasn’t really helping either.

Even though Jisung never came out of the forest without any scratches or other minor injuries, it was his favourite place to be. It was always quiet, the air fresh and the ground untouched, making it the perfect place to get away from people, from whispers, from the staring.

Making his way through the greenery, Jisung looked up at the sky. Little beams of sunlight slipped past the dense roof of leaves high above his head. The forest was typically pretty dark, but the light coming in gave everything around him a more mysterious look; it was intriguing. 

‘’God, how I love this place…,’’ He whispered to himself, still looking up as he took in the intricate weaving of leaves high above his head.

Right at that moment a big gust of wind brought the trees to life, filling the air with a thunderous sound. Jisung could feel his lips curling up into a small smile as he closed his eyes and just listened. The trees sounded almost threatening, but to Jisung it sounded more like power, a certain force making itself known. Moments like these, where the wind rushed over his skin, made him feel alive. The movement of air made him aware that it was always there, even though it was normally not noticeable. 

The wind died down and Jisung opened his eyes again, letting out a content sigh before he continued his way. He had walked this same path hundreds of times before but it still amazed him how beautiful the place was.

Walking for a few more minutes, the trees started to thin out and Jisung was met with a little clearing, feeling himself relax instantly. It was a spot that only he knew about. Well, he could never know for sure but he had never seen anyone else here and he knew that most people didn’t dare to venture out this deep into the forest, scared of losing their way back.

Jisung made his way over to the middle of his little hideout spot. The place was basking in sunlight and Jisung could just feel his skin soaking up the heath as soon as the sun hit him. He felt butterflies in his stomach as he stopped right in the middle of it. Spring always made him feel more alive, his body waking up after months and months of darkness and cold.

Tearing himself back into reality, Jisung glanced down at his feet and smiled. He didn’t hesitate as he hurried to take off his shoes, welcoming the feeling of the soft, cool grass and moss under his feet. 

The grass looked so inviting to him, like it was calling him to lay down upon it. For a second he dismissed the idea, afraid of staining his baby-blue blouse, but this was his world, here he could do anything he wanted.

So he lay down on his back and spread his arms, feeling the soft grass tickling the sun-kissed skin on his wrists which were sticking out from underneath his rolled-up sleeves. He ran his fingers through the grass and closed his eyes again, letting his other senses do the work for him. No matter how many times Jisung repeated this routine, day in day out, it somehow never grew old. Every time he came here it felt as if he had just found the place and he loved every minute of it.

He still remembered the day he had stumbled upon this place. It had been on a day similar to this one. The only difference being that he had been a lot younger. Nine years younger, to be exact. 

Together with some other kids of the village, eight year-old Jisung had though that it would be a wonderful idea to go play hide and seek in the forest. Jisung and the other kids weren’t actually allowed to play around or in the forest without an adult present, but breaking the rules only added to the fun of it. Anyways, one thing had led to the other and before he knew it, they had ventured deeper into the forest. 

Too deep.

It hadn’t taken long before Jisung had gotten separated from the group, it happened often. It wasn’t as if they would ditch Jisung on purpose but he would somehow always lose them even though he tried to keep his eye on them.

Being the weird kid he was, Jisung hadn’t been scared. Instead, his heart fluttered at the thought of being lost in the forest. It meant adventure and discovery.  
After aimlessly walking around he had stumbled upon this place. It had been the best day of his life. That was until it started to get dark and he didn’t know how exactly he was going to get back home. On top of that, it had slowly started to rain and he had not been dressed for the occasion, so to speak.

It had taken him hours to find his way back out of the forest. Everything had looked the same and the darkness made it almost impossible to spot anything familiar.

Once he had gotten back home the real fun had started. As soon as he had walked into the house he had been engulfed in a hug. After he had endured my father’s sobbing and scolding words he had been informed that he was grounded for at least a week because he _‘’had been dumb’’_ and should have gone back right away instead of being a _‘’troublemaker’’._

Fathers words, not his.

To top it all off, he had gotten a fever that night and had spent most of the week in bed feeling quite horrible.

Jisung grinned as he ended his trip down memory-lane. In hind-sight, he really had been stupid. But in the end, he wouldn’t have done anything different that day. Well, maybe he would have dragged Felix along; it would have been more fun.

Hours passed before Jisung decided that he should head back. The sun was slowly setting and he knew in how much trouble he would be if he wasn’t home before dark.

A little reluctantly he hoisted himself back on his feet, dusting off little bits and pieces of grass off his dark brown leather pants. He repeated the same for his linen-blouse. 

‘’I should not have worn white…’’ he mumbled as he saw a few little green streaks on his blouse.

He lazily swept his hand through his light-blonde hair to get rid of anything that might have been stuck there before he started to make his way back.

 

*

 

Minho severely disliked being here. 

Scrap that. He _hated_ being here. 

Not specifically in the garden, no- that was his favourite place to be, but being stuck inside those huge walls all the time. They kept him from doing what he wanted to do. They kept him away from other people and actual living life as he thought he was supposed to. 

Every day was the god damn same, making him feel like he was trapped in some sort of f*cked up loop made by the universe, unable to find a way out of it no matter what he did or said, forever bound to be stuck here simply because of who he was. 

And to add to his foul mood, today it was just too hot to do this. The sun was beating down on him, making him sweat profusely and his clothes stuck to his body in a very, very, uncomfortable way. He had been able to endure it for two hours or so but it was really starting to annoy him. 

"Focus!," 

Wind passed his head and he snapped out of his thoughts as a sword came to a stop, just mere inches away from making contact with his neck. 

"Never let your mind wander when you're in a life or death situation," Chan said as he dropped the sword, "How many times do I have to keep telling you this?," 

Minho just shrugged his shoulders and Chan let out a sigh as he ran his hand through his hair. 

"Please Minho," The elder whispered, "Don't you care about your own safety at all?," 

Minho really didn't though. He couldn't care less if he would drop dead today, tomorrow or next week, not if it meant he was finally able to stop feeling trapped. So it wasn't as if his safety really mattered to him. He knew it would to his parents, seeing as he was the only child but that wasn't enough to get him to actually care. 

Now don't get him wrong; he wasn't seeking death, but he just wouldn't go out of his way to avoid it either. 

"Whatever Chan," Minho replied as he seethed the sword in his hand, "Don't you have better things to do than sparring with me?," 

Chan was an apprentice, someone who would take over the reins and be the next head guard, making him the person in charge of the protection of the royal family. It was a big title and Chan was really working hard to prove he was worthy of such. 

"You know I do, that's why I had hoped you would take this a bit more seriously. I know you're a good swordsman but you can never let down your guard," 

Minho just rolled his eyes. He had heard the same things over and over again. 

"And here I was thinking that you would go all sappy and say that I was special enough for you to take some time out of your busy schedule to spar with," 

And that got Chan to finally drop the seriousness and laugh loudly. 

"Ooh you are special, _prince_ , but that doesn't mean I get time off to entertain you," 

Minho winced at the title, shooting Chan an angry glare. 

"Don't call me that," He hissed. 

Chan seemed to pick up on his change of mood and shot a tired smile back. 

"Minho I know you don't like it but you got to accept it at some point," He replied, ''You're nineteen for gods sake,''

Minho knew that Chan was right, but he wasn’t in the mood to accept it. 

"It's not just the title I don't like and you know that," 

Chan seethed his sword before running a hand trough his hair, face dripping with sweat.

‘’I do, but at least try to appreciate it a bit more. Do you know how many people would kill to be in your position?," 

Of course Minho knew that, he wasn’t dumb. There were probably a ton of people who’d trade places with him any day. There were enough people living in poverty and didn’t have enough money to actually live. 

And if Minho could trade places with them, he would. 

"But I'm not one of them and that's the whole problem," 

Chan looked pissed and Minho knew he had whined too much.

"Listen, I really don't want to start arguing about this again. I got other things to do so either suck it up or go be sulky on your own," And with that, Chan gave a little nod before turning around and walking away, leaving Minho to dwell on his own.

 

*

 

Jisung had barely set a step into the village when he suddenly felt something heavy on his back, making him stumble and almost trip over his own feet for the second time today.

‘’Hey Birthday-boy! I have been looking for you everywhere.’’ 

He didn’t have to turn around to see who it was. Felix was the only one who knew how much Jisung disliked being called like that and of course, as his best friend, he used it against Jisung every god damn year.

‘’Ya Felix, you’re crushing me!’’ Jisung yelled as he shrugged him off his back.

Jisung turned around and saw Felix pouting. Jisung rolled his eyes and laughed at the sight. Felix didn’t really like to act all cute, but whenever it was for personal gain he really didn’t hesitate.

Jisung let out a sigh as he turned his back towards his best friend and lowered myself. Edmitting a little squeal of glee, Felix jumped on.

‘’Aren’t we getting too old for this?’’ Jisung asked Felix as he struggled to stand up, letting out a small grunt because of the added weight on his back.

‘’Nope’’ Felix answered, tightening his arms around Jisung.

Jisung decided to just give up and start walking towards his house.

‘’Sooooo, what have you been up to Hannie?’’ Felix asked while playing with Jisung’s hair.

‘’Nothing much,’’ Jisung answered.

‘’Forest huh?’’ Felix responded, plucking something out of Jisung’s hair and shoving it in his line of sight, almost poking Jisung’s eye out with the little branch.

Even though Felix had been best friends for as long as Jisung could remember, he had never told him about his secret spot. Sure, Felix did know he would hang out in the forest all the time but for some reason Jisung had never told him about the little clearing.

‘’You trying to make me blind Lix?,’’ Jisung huffed. 

Felix’s laughter filled Jisung’s ear. Felix’s laugh was almost obnoxiously loud, but that didn’t matter to Jisung. To him it sounded like pure joy and it always seemed to make the world look a bit sunnier.

‘’Yes. I totally am. If I can’t have such pretty eyes, you can’t have them either,’’ Felix whispered, his voice dropping at least one active in, what Jisung knew, an attempt to sound suave. 

Jisung didn’t particularly thought that his light-brown eyes were prettier than Felix’s dark brown ones, but Felix was fascinated by them. No one in the village had the same eye colour, or hair colour for that matter, as Jisung and that used to bother him when he was little. When they were younger, the other kids would make fun of him because of it. Specifically Sanghoon, the asshole, and his so-called ‘friends’.

Felix chuckled and Jisung didn’t have to see the face of the boy on his back to know that said boy was wiggling his brows.

‘’I seriously think you need to work on your flirting. I don’t think you’re doing it right,’’ Jisung deadpanned.

‘’You know what I need to work on?,’’ Felix giggled, seemingly already entertained by whatever he was going to say.

Jisung already knew where this was going. Felix had this ridiculous long list of horrible pick-up lines, waiting to be used. Unfortunately they were each other’s only friend, meaning that Jisung was the one on the receiving end of Felix’s cheesiness. 

‘’No. What?,’’ Jisung sighed.

‘’You,’’ Felix whispered in Jisung’s ear.

_No Jisung, you can’t just throw people on the ground._

‘’That’s the worst one so far. I can’t believe I’m still friends with you,’’ Jisung groaned, hoisting Felix up to readjust his hold on the boy’s legs.

‘’I am deeply hurt, Han Jisung,’’ Felix said, adding a fake sob, ‘’All these years I thought we were destined to be together forever but I see your heart has wandered astray,’’

‘’Shut up before I ditch you,’’ Jisung said.

‘’You wouldn’t, you love me too much,’’ Felix chuckled.

‘’True,’’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unintended foreshadowing.  
> I'm only seeing it now.
> 
> So I did this for my last story and a lot of people actually liked it so here we go -->
> 
> **Research stories pt. 1:**
> 
> \- Actually didn't do research for anything in this chapter exept for the exact years Europe was being terrorized by the Black Death (1347 to 1351) so that I wouldn't acidentily pick a year in which half of Europe was busy dying and didn't have time to go on crazy adventures.


	2. Raven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone still alive?  
> Streaming Side Effects while doing the final edit for this is weird... The song doesn't fit the story AT ALL xD
> 
> For those who are looking for music to listen to while reading, I listened to music from ''Lord Of The Rings'', ''Avatar'' and just this random ten hour video with medieval music.
> 
> Bear with me as we are still in the set-up of the story. Last work I posted someone gave me some feedback saying that at some points it felt a bit rushed because I didn't described things a lot. I'm trying to practise that in this work, meaning that it takes a lot longer for the actual plot to take off. AT first I had planned to do everything from Jisung's point of view but then I realised it was weird for Minho to just pop up later. It would also mean a lot more work later on because I'd have to incorporate his backstory into like every conversation he has, or something. ANyhoes, It will pick up soon, I promise ^^

"Busto trades a lot with Dorna, so they're friends, meaning that they pick each others' side whenever the capital, Teyrnon, so us, holds a vote " 

Seungmin raised a brow and shook his head and Minho knew it wasn't the answer Seungmin wanted him to give. 

"Minho, I'd like you to use the correct terms. It's like you are explaining it to a little kid," 

Minho's day had just been not going well. Nothing bad had happened or anything but as soon as he had gotten up this morning, he had known that it just wasn't his day. Far from it actually. He had finally washed up after training with Chan and was ready to spent the rest of the day drawing the new pink chrysanthemums in the garden, which had finally started to bloom for the first time, but then Seungmin had shown up and dragged him to the library to study. 

"Does it really matter? It's just us two here" Minho replied, twirling the quill between his fingers as he leaned back in his chair. It was silent for a bit as Seungmin and Minho just stared at each other. 

‘’Again,’’

Minho let out a sigh, knowing that he wasn’t going to win this battle and that it was better to get it over with quickly.

‘’Busto and Dorna have a trading pact, Busto has no excess to sea so Dorna provides them with fish. Dorna, on the other hand, has no spare land to keep cattle and therefore gets meat and dairy products from Busto. This all means that they have close political ties as well, which results in the two villages banding together whenever possible,’’

And with that, Seungmin let out a satisfied hum and nodded his head.

‘’Are we done now?,’’ Minho asked, already moving to get out of the chair.

‘’No. Sit back down and tell me about Callao an-,’’

‘’They mine. Done. Can I go now?,’’ Minho cut him off, now standing behind his chair.

He looked at Seungmin expectantly, hoping the younger would let him off for once. However, the way Seungmin’s brows furrowed together told him that Seungmin was trying to puzzle words together in his head and wasn’t going to let him off that easily.

"What is going on with you today?," Seungmin finally settled on. 

Minho let out a sigh and hung his head.

"Nothing, why?," 

"Don't lie to me. I talked to Chan a little while ago and he said you were being moodier than normal, which says a lot," 

Seungmin really wasn't having it. 

"And you guys are being nosier than normal," Minho huffed out as he looked back up.

‘’Okay, now you’re just being petty,’’ Seungmin replied, his voice as calm as ever.

Minho knew he was and it would be a lie if he said he didn’t feel a tad bit pathetic for it. He just felt so… frustrated, stuffy, and with that came anxiousness. As he had gotten older, Minho had found himself fidgety as the feeling of being stuck in one place had slowly started to creep up on him, settling heavy in his bones.

And he knew that it wasn’t his friends fault. They were just trying to help him get by and Minho really was grateful for that. If it hadn’t been for Chan he wouldn’t have ever been able to handle a sword and without Seungmin he was sure he would have never managed to get through his studies. 

So as Minho came to the realisation he had kind of been a dick to his friends today, he felt sorry. He looked back up and saw a mix of annoyance and concern in Seungmin’s eyes.

‘’I know I know,’’ He huffed out, ‘’I’m sorry,’’

Seungmin visibly relaxed and leaned back in his chair.

‘’It’s okay Minho,’’ Seungmin replied, ‘’We’re just worried,’’

Minho winched at that, not used to Seungmin being so direct. He sat back in the chair, eyes focussed on the wall behind Seungmin, the memory of an painting hanging there years ago still there.

Minho remembered the first time he saw it. He had only been six years old when he had been playing hide and seek with Seungmin and Chan and had stumbled into the library. The painting had caught his eye immediately because it almost took up the whole wall next to a bookshelf. In the painting were his mother, father and another man and woman, smiling brightly.

Minho had asked his father about the other two people in the painting at dinner that night. However, his father had ignored the question and scolded Minho for snooping around instead. Shortly thereafter, the painting had vanished from the wall.

The years following, Minho couldn’t seem to get his mind off of it and he had thrown himself into the countless of books in the library, hoping to find some sort of clue about the other people engraved in his mind. It was only after he had gone over every book and document available for three times that he had given up. There was no trace anywhere and he realised he just had to let it go no matter how curious he was.

‘’Minho?,’’

He looked back up and the look on Seungmin’s face suggested that the latter had asked him a question, totally going over Minho’s head as he had been stuck in thought.

‘’Sorry?,’’

‘’I asked if you already know more about this marriage thing?,’’

And just as Minho had started to feel a bit better, lighter, his mood was brought back down immediately.

He shot Seungmin an angry glare as he got up and he could see that Seungmin was regretting bringing it up.

‘’Minho, I-,’’

What came after, God may know because Minho had decided not to stick around and stalked out of the library, leaving Seungmin behind him.

 

*

 

Jisung was standing in front of his house, hand on the door handle and taking steady breaths. 

He had spent the rest of the afternoon roaming the village with Felix, which meant it was already past dinnertime. His father would surely be disappointed that Jisung hadn’t been home at all today. It was his seventeenth birthday after all and even though he didn’t like birthdays, his father sure did. Especially Jisung’s.

A little hesitantly, Jisung pushed the handle down, opened the door and stepped inside. Just as he had expected, his father was seated at the table which was filled with all kind of different food, ranging from Chicken, potatoes, beans and more.

And in that moment, guilt overwhelmed Jisung. All day he had this feeling that his dad would be waiting for him, but Jisung had chosen to ignore it, enjoying his time alone and with Felix. After all, his dad was a busy man so Jisung had assumed, wrongfully so, that he had been too busy in the shop, which of course hadn’t been the case. On normal days it was safe to assume that but not on Jisung’s birthday. 

Jisung softly closed the door behind him and his dad finally noticed him.

‘’Han Jisung!,’’ He yelled.

The loudness of his voice made Jisung flinch. His dad wasn’t a scary person, but when he got angry…

‘’Where have you been?! Do you know how long I have waited for you? Do you have any idea of how much time I spent on making dinner?’’ 

Even though he was yelling, Jisung could tell from his voice how disappointed he was. And Jisung knew he had the right to. 

‘’I’m sorry dad. I was with Felix and forgot the time,’’ he replied, head hung low. It wasn’t a complete lie, but it still was only a half-truth. Jisung knew that his father didn’t like him wandering in the forest. The reason for that also unknown.

His dad let out a sigh as he stood up from the table. The piece of furniture was old and creaked under the weight of his father’s heavy hand.

‘’I was really worried Jisung,’’ He said as he walked over to Jisung.

‘’I know dad. I’ll pay more attention next time,’’ Jisung replied, wrapping his arms around himself as he genuinely felt bad.

Jisung could hear his dad sigh again before he was wrapped up in his dad’s arms.

‘’Please do so,’’ His dad said, ‘’But for now, happy birthday kiddo,’’

 

*

 

The sunset was one of the most beautiful things to Minho. The light pinks, oranges and lilacs that filled the otherwise blue or grey sky made it look like he had found himself in a foreign land, one far from where he was now. 

From his balcony he could see the sky going on and on forever, leaving him to wonder where it stopped, if it ever did, and what one would find there. There was a slight breeze, making his hair fly in all directions and he could hear the curtains behind him rustling softly. It was still a bit chilly, but Minho liked it that way.

As the colours of the sunset slowly started to grow into a deep blue and eventually black, Minho found himself lost in thought once again. 

He just couldn’t stop thinking about how he felt like he was slowly dying. Every day it was getting more difficult to get out of bed in the morning, more difficult to get his breakfast down, more difficult to do what he was supposed to do for the day, more difficult to act like how everyone wanted him too.

It was getting more difficult to understand why exactly he was still here. Why was he still just sitting here in the castle? Why was he actually still here, alive? He really didn’t see the point some days.

And as unsettling as those questions running around in his mind were, Minho wasn’t really all that upset about them. He was just genuinely wondering.

It was when he barely could see anything accept for the moon that he decided to get back inside, leaving the door to his balcony open in an attempt to feel less locked up. It helped a bit, but not as much as Minho would have liked.

He tried. He really tried but he often felt like he didn’t belong here, that he was never meant to be surrounded by all the riches. It was suffocating.

He let out a sigh and decided that he just needed to stop thinking for a little while.

His eyes landed on the unfinished drawing on his desk and excitement surged through his body, making him smile. He quickly sat down behind his desk, rolled up his sleeves and reached for the candle on the far corner of his desk, carefully placing it above his sketchbook.

He took a hold of the little stick of charcoal, enjoying the feeling of the cold material, and eyed the drawing in front of him. Minho had always loved drawing anything related to nature and so a few days ago he had found himself closely observing the raven that had landed on his balcony for hours, deciding he just had to draw it. 

He brought the charcoal to the paper and let himself go, getting pulled in by the black traces he left behind. Minho didn’t know at what age he had started drawing exactly, but he knew he had been young. Fortunately for him, he had the time of the world to practise when he was a kid. Nowadays he barely had time to sit down for himself, having to make the most out of every free moment he got.

He would have days off sometimes but those were really rare and mostly tied to some sort of official event, meaning he probably had to attend a special meeting or dinner, like tomorrow. Minho told his thoughts to shut up again to focus on his sketchbook. 

It took him quite a while to finish, but when he did he was proud. The finished drawing looked almost identical to the real raven he had seen. At least, Minho thought so.

He let out a content sigh as he stood up and rolled his neck, the little crack he heard informing him that he had been bend over his desk for too long which probably meant it was well past midnight.

He didn’t even bother to wash off the charcoal that had ended up all smudged across his hands and walked over to his bed, taking off his boots before letting himself fall down on the soft mattress.

He hadn’t noticed how tired he had been until he pulled the blanket over his body, his eyes getting heavier and heavier before everything went black.

 

*

 

‘’So, who wants his present?,’’ Jisung’s dad asked as Jisung put away the last plate.

‘’How about me?,’’ Jisung said.

His dad motioned for Jisung to sit down at the table again and told him to close his eyes. 

‘’Dad, I’m not a little child,’’ Jisung replied as he sat down.

‘’To me you are. You’ll always be my little boy,’’ 

Jisung groaned but decided not to get into a discussion. He closed his eyes and soon after he could hear his dad rummaging through a drawer. Jisung knew exactly where his dad had hidden the present. Every year it was the same ritual.

‘’Okay, hold out your hands,’’

Jisung did so and immediately something quite heavy landed in his hands. Jisung opened his eyes and was happily surprised to see what he was holding.

In his left hand was a round satchel filled with what Jisung assumed were arrows. In his right hand he was holding the most beautiful bow he had ever seen.

‘’Are you for real?!,’’ Jisung squealed as he placed the bow and arrows on the table, taking one arrow from the satchel to inspect it up close. The arrow was made from a light-coloured wood and had an almost unnoticeable sheen to it. Jisung could see that the arrowhead was made from steel and it was a nice contrast to the wood. The feathers at the end were beautifully black and white striped, fitting well with the paleness of the wood.

‘’Do you like it?,’’ Jisung’s dad asked as he moved to sit opposite of Jisung.

Jisung thought it was a stupid question. 

‘’Of course! I love it,’’ He replied with a wide smile.

His dad seemed to be relieved by the answer.

‘’That makes me happy,’’ He said, ‘’I have worked on it for months,’’

Jisung could tell he had. The arrows looked identical even though they were all made by hand. The bow was perfectly shaped as well. Not that Jisung had seen enough bows to know how they should look like, but it looked like it had been done with care.

‘’The arrows are made from Birch wood. It’s known for being extremely durable and it doesn’t warp easily. For the bow I used ebony. It’s quite dense and heavy, making the bow steadier in use. I must say it was one hell of a job to get my hands on it for a decent price,’’

It was truly the most wonderful gift Jisung had ever gotten. And maybe he did tear up a little bit.

‘’Thanks dad, it’s beautiful,’’ Jisung said as he got up to give his dad a hug.

His dad laughed and petted Jisung’s head. 

''Anything for you kiddo,''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had never intended for Minho to sound so... sad? I dunno it just happened :/ Guess Minho is depressed.
> 
> By the way, I know that Jisung's birthday is on the 14th of September but for the sake of the story his birthday is now in spring, deal with it xD
> 
> ANyway, leave a comment to let me know your thoughts so far! ^^
> 
> **Research stories pt. 2**
> 
> For the names of villages/Cities I used Celtic words that are connected to their main produce because, I don't know...  
> \- Dorna [f] 'a type of boat',  
> \- Busto [m] 'cattle farm, dairy',  
> \- Callao [m] 'boulder; pebble',  
> \- Teyrnon [m] 'Regal',
> 
> And Bidueiro, so the village Jisung lives in, means Birch. Haha funny that's also the woodkind Jisung's arrows are made from. The village isn't named like that for nothing. The Birch is native to the northen hamosphere, meaning Europe as well.
> 
> chrysanthemums are native to Europe so that's that xp Even the smallest things I research and I don't know why I make it so difficult for myself. Legit spent around ten minutes to find a flower that was pretty and native to Europe xp
> 
> eeehmmm, they used charcoal to draw in the middle ages. 
> 
> Turkey feathers were used for arrows, wood like Birch (Very durable) and Ebony (Dense and heavy) for the bow or arrows and steel for the arrowhead. Nothing much to add here.


	3. Boundaries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back a bit earlier than I had planned, but I'm off to babysit my cousin's kids the rest of the week (aka playing nanny) and I'm not doing to drag my laptop with me when I have to travel on public transport for three hours in 35 degrees Celsius xD  
> And I've made quite some progress with the story the past couple of days so I felt like I could upload another chapter ^^
> 
> Things are slowly starting to pick up so enjoy :)
> 
> Please drop a comment and let me know what you think so far! I don't even know if anyone is even reading this story...

‘’Thanks for tagging along Sung,’’ Felix said as he struggled to keep the clothes in his arms from slipping away and falling on the muddy road.

Jisung had been awake early, dying to try out his bow and arrow but had decided to stop by Felix to see if he wanted to join. He had just caught Felix leaving his house when he had arrived. Felix had complained about having to go to the market place where his sister was waiting for someone to drop off the finished products.

‘’You’re welcome,’’ Jisung said as they rounded the corner. 

The village was slowly waking up, people coming out of their houses to get to the market to get the freshest of products. 

‘’So, you trying that out today?,’’ Felix said as he nodded towards the bow and satchel with arrows on Jisung’s back.

They passed the baker and the smell of bread being baked filled Jisung’s nose. The little streets were getting busier and busier, making it almost impossible to walk next to each other without bumping into other people. 

‘’Why do you think I’m awake at such and ungodly hour?,’’ Jisung asked.

Jisung knew it wasn’t that early, but he had never been a morning-person. He liked to sleep in and go to sleep late. 

‘’Because you missed me of course,’’

Jisung rolled his eyes. It was too early for this but he was in a good mood today so he decided to play along.

‘’Yes, I missed you,’’ Jisung said as the market came into view.

Felix grinned at that, throwing out a fist to celebrate the little victory.

 

A couple of minutes later they were on their way back to Felix’s house after having decided they would eat breakfast there. It was when they passed the butcher when Jisung heard it.

‘’Please go away,’’

It was difficult to locate the voice because of all the people talking around them and Jisung wondered if he had imagined it. Nevertheless, Jisung stopped in his tracks and looked around. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary so he just shrugged his shoulders at his best friend when he caught the boy giving him a confused look. He was about to turn away when he heard something again, much louder this time.

‘’Give that back!,’’

It clearly came from their left so without hesitation, Jisung slipped past the butcher and into the little alley next to it, Felix hot on his heels.

‘’What are you doing?,’’ Felix whisper-yelled.

‘’You heard that as well right?,’’ Jisung responded as a frown settled on his face. 

They rounded the corner and Jisung stopped dead in his tracks when two people came into view.

‘’What are they doing?,’’ Felix wondered out loud.

From Jisung’s point of view he couldn’t really see. He recognized the smaller boy but not the other person because he had his back facing them. The guy was holding something in his hand, dangling it far above Jeongin’s head. Whatever it was, it clearly belonged to the younger guy, who was on his tiptoes trying to reach the guy’s hand.

Slightly hesitant, because he really didn’t feel up to getting into any kind of fight with the other guy, Jisung took the last few steps, ignoring Felix’s whispered ‘’The f*ck you doing, that’s Tae-’’ and tapped the other guy on the shoulder.

The guy turned around and Jisung inwardly groaned, mentally slapping himself for not recognizing the guy earlier.

Of course it had to be one of Sanghoon’s friends. His whole clique was rotten to the core if you asked Jisung. Seeing that Taeho was now blatantly harassing Jeongin just proved the point.

‘’Stop being so childish, Taeho. You’re nineteen, for god’s sake,’’ Jisung said as soon as he could see Taeho’s eyes scanning him. Jisung just could feel himself shrink ever so slightly when the taller looked back up at his face and smirked at him.

‘’Han! How wonderful of you to drop by,’’ Taeho replied, dropping his arm. 

Jisung hadn’t noticed that Felix was standing next to him until the boy fished the book out of Taeho’s hand and slipped past him to get to Jeongin. The poor boy looked incredibly shaken up and Jisung didn’t blame him, having had enough terrifying encounters with the clique himself, especially Taeho.

Taeho now completely ignored Jeongin and Felix, his full attention on Jisung.

‘’Little farm boy here and I were just having a conversation. Can a man not have a conversation with a dear friend,’’ Taeho grinned.

‘’Whatever,’’ Jisung responded, trying to keep his voice steady.

He knew better than to shake Taeho up. He just didn’t want to waste his energy and honestly, Taeho did scare him. He was at least a head taller, way sturdier than him and overall just creeped Jisung out, for obvious reasons. Jisung wasn’t a coward but he wasn’t the bravest either and he knew not to push his luck.

‘’Let’s go,’’ Jisung said as he made eye contact with Felix and Jeongin, wanting to get away from Taeho as quick as possible. 

The boys stopped whispering and eagerly stepped past Taeho and Jisung, already making their way back to the main road. 

Jisung was about to turn away and follow them when a hand gripped his wrist. 

‘’I wasn’t done talking Hannie,’’ Taeho hissed as Jisung turned to face the guy.

‘’Just stop it Taeho,’’ Jisung spat back, trying not to freak out by the skin-contact.

The grip on his wrist became really uncomfortable and Taeho’s face turned sour.

‘’What’s this? Trying to be brave Han?,’’ Taeho sneered, digging his nails in Jisung’s wrist.

Jisung winced ever so slightly at the sudden sharp pain, not going unnoticed by the taller guy. 

‘’Aaah, did that hurt?,’’ Taeho mocked, ‘’Sorry,’’

Jisung’s patience was really wearing thin. Felix and Jeongin were long gone and this ‘conversation’ with Taeho was going nowhere.

‘’Let go,’’ Jisung said as he glared at the other boy.

Taeho laughed, seemingly very entertained by Jisung’s demand. Jisung felt mocked as Taeho didn’t look like he was even slightly impressed at all.

‘’Now, why would I do that?,’’

And Jisung was already out of comebacks. He was hungry, slightly pissed that his wonderful morning had to be interrupted by the asshole in front of him and just really uncomfortable being this close to Taeho.

Jisung let out a trembling sigh as he ran his free hand through his hair.

‘’What do you want, Taeho?,’’ he whispered tiredly.

Jisung knew he had formulated his question wrong as he could feel the atmosphere shift as soon as the words had left his mouth.

Taeho gave a tug and Jisung let out a surprised yelp as an arm snuck around the lower part of his back, holding him tightly.

‘’Now that’s a stupid question,’’ Taeho leered as he leaned closer to Jisung, ‘’You know what I want baby,’’

Of course Jisung knew.

‘’F*ck off,’’ Jisung hissed back, trying to pry Taeho’s arm off of him, ‘’G-go bother someone else,’’

Taeho pressed Jisung against him even more and smirked.

‘’But I don’t want to?,’’ The taller replied, inching even closer. Jisung could feel Taeho’s breath ghosting over his cheek and stomach churned. 

That was it. Jisung was done. He wasn’t one to resort to violence but he knew that Taeho wasn’t one to listen to words. At least, not his. So after coming to that conclusion, Jisung connected his knee to Taeho’s private area as hard as possible.

The grip on his wrist got released immediately as Taeho doubled over in pain.

‘’The f*ck!,’’ Taeho grunted, not even bothering to look at Jisung.

All the stress Jisung had felt before just disappeared as he looked at Taeho dropping to the ground, still groaning in pain. The satisfaction was real.

‘’Lovely talking to you. Have a horrible day,’’ Jisung huffed before turning away and leaving Taeho behind him.

 

*

 

‘’-So I expect you to be present,’’

What for, Minho didn’t really know. He hadn’t been paying attention, his focus being on trying to swallow down the duck on his plate. Breakfast was one of those things that were also always the same, him sitting down in the big dining hall with his father and mother, servants lining the wall and ready to bring them whatever they wanted.

Minho had woken up feeling a bit better than yesterday and was actually looking forward to having a day off of his studies and training. He knew that it was because there were probably important people coming over for dinner, but that was something to worry about later.

He absentmindedly gave a nod to indicate he had heard his father even though he clearly hadn’t. He would able to ask someone else later anyways. For now he just focused on his day off and all the things he could be doing. Drawing was number one of course and maybe he would be able to go outside the castle walls. Minho soon pushed that away knowing that his father wouldn’t allow him. He never did. Minho only got to leave when his father decided to bring him along for important meetings and even then he wasn’t allowed to stray away.

‘’Now we’re all here, I wanted to discuss something else,’’ His mother, the queen, spoke up.

An uneasy feeling settled in Minho’s stomach as he made eye-contact with the woman. Her eyes were set in a serious look and he knew that it wouldn’t mean anything good for him.

‘’We set up a formal meeting with the Kim-family to discuss the details,’’

And the food in Minho’s mouth turned sour. He knew that it was bound to happen someday, but he had hoped he would have had at least another year or two. Well, the actually marriage would probable take that long to actually happen, but still. He didn’t want this. He wasn’t ready for this.

He took in a deep breath, trying to calm down the anger and frustration that was starting to built in his body. He had voiced his opinion on the matter at least a million times but he was always met with the same arguments. They kept telling him that it was expected of him to marry the daughter of a neighbouring country. He was a prince, after all, and those didn’t get to marry for any other reason that strengthening political ties.

‘’When?,’’ Minho asked, trying his best to keep his voice steady and not to give away any emotion.

‘’They will arrive in about a week and will stay a couple of days,’’ His father answered, not looking up as he stuffed another piece of meat in his mouth.

 

Great.

 

*

 

‘’Pheoho ith o fhilthy coakthroth,’’

‘’I think I need a translator for that,’’ Jisung responded, running his hand through his hair.

Felix swallowed his food, giving Jisung a dumb smile.

‘’I said, Taeho is a filthy cockroach,’’ Felix repeated, now frowning, ‘’He really doesn’t know when to back off,’

That was true. No matter how many times Jisung said no, the message never seemed to register in Taeho’s dumb brain. Not even that one time when they were fifteen and Jisung had landed a punch on Taeho’s nose, almost breaking it, after the guy had gotten too handsy for Jisung’s liking.

‘’Let’s just drop it,’’ Jisung muttered as he scraped the last grains of rice out of the bowl with his spoon and stuffing it in his mouth.

Felix’s mother had been so kind to prepare breakfast for the both of them and Jisung was happy to chow down. Felix’s mother was a wonderful cook, her food making Jisung feel all warm and fluffy inside. It wasn’t as if his dad was horrible, but the feeling was just different. It was a different kind of warmth that Jisung never really felt somewhere else.

‘’I’m sorry for not noticing you weren’t behind us… You want me to beat him up for you?,’’ Felix suddenly asked, eyes narrowing as if he was asking Jisung for permission.

Jisung had to laugh at that. Felix could be pretty intimidating if he wanted, especially if he did the thing where he dropped his voice, but he couldn’t fight for sh*t. Years of play-fighting when they were kids was enough proof for Jisung.

‘’Sure thing Mr. freckles.’’ Jisung teased as he rested his head on his hand, ’’Like you could even land one punch,’’

‘’Hey, keep my freckles out of it! What have they ever done to you?!,’’ Felix gasped, ‘’And I’m a great fighter!,’’

Felix continued to demonstrate some punches, looking more like he was flailing around than actually looking like he knew what he was doing. He even went as far as to make funny, wind-like noises whenever his arm shot out.

‘’Whatever helps you sleep at night Lix,’’ Jisung chuckled.

Felix halted all movement immediately and suddenly turned serious again.

‘’I’m not joking though.’’ He sighed, ‘’He has crossed the boundaries so many times, especially today, that it scares me Sung,’’ 

Jisung would be lying if he said he wasn’t that bothered about it. Honestly, he had been for years. He couldn’t really point out when Taeho had started paying so much attention to him. It just slowly progressed over the years. Somehow it had gone from bullying Jisung because of how different he looked to something more… unsettling, but only whenever Sanghoon wasn’t around. Or anyone, for that matter. 

And maybe, Jisung did pity the guy for a second when he realised that Taeho’s difference in behaviour when Sanghoon was present probably stemmed from him being a bit scared of the assh*le as well. 

‘’It’s fine. I’m sure it will blow over at some point,’’ Jisung replied, not even sounding convincing to himself.

‘’Jisung, it’s not fine,’’ Felix deadpanned. He seemed to think about something before he decided to continue.

‘’You don’t remember that town meeting when we were sixteen?,’’

Jisung had to dig deep to remember how exactly things had gone down that day. He could remember sitting on a bench in the townhouse. The whole village had been present, meaning everyone was squeezed together. Jisung had managed to secure a spot big enough for both him and Felix. However, his best friend had been running late as always and had missed most of the meeting. Jisung had started daydreaming at some point, not really interested in whatever the town elders were saying, until a hand landed on his right knee.

He had looked to his right, expecting to see Felix’s face. But of course it hadn’t been. Jisung should have had known it was Taeho, the bastard not even looking at him. Jisung had turned to look back at the elders and tried to ignore the way Taeho’s hand seemed to burn Jisung’s skin right through his leather pants, not wanting to create a scene with so many people present. It had almost worked until Jisung could feel the hand creep up his leg, the pressure increasing as it came to a stop on his inner-thigh.

‘’Or when he just followed you around?,’’

It had been a few weeks after what had happened at the town meeting when Taeho had followed Jisung everywhere he went that day. It had started out in the morning when Jisung had gone to the baker to get bread. Taeho was just standing on the other side of the street, staring at Jisung the whole time. 

Jisung had gone over to Felix’s house a few hours later only to hear footsteps behind him. He had turned his head around ever so slightly to see who had been following him ever since he had left his house, only to find out it was Taeho again. Needless to say, Jisung had freaked out and sprinted the whole way to Felix’s place.

Then, after dinner he had decided to go into the forest for a bit. It was summer anyway which meant the sun wouldn’t set until quite late at night. He had just been walking around, trying to relax after the stressful day, when he had heard something snap to his left. At first Jisung had thought it was an animal but then it had happened a couple of times more. While he was freaking out, his eyes had landed on a tree a couple of meters away. Taeho was standing behind it, making eye contact with Jisung before walking away.

And after that day, Jisung hadn’t come out of his house until the following week. His dad had asked what was going on and Jisung had pretended to be ill. Jisung knew his dad didn’t really buy it so he was grateful that he had just let Jisung be. Taeho had gone back to ‘normal’ after that.

‘’And Lammas day, for f*cks sake!,’’

Aaah, yes. The evening on Lammas day when they were sixteen. That had been fun. Jisung still remembered how he had lost Felix in the crowd of people celebrating the first wheat harvest of the year. He had looked all over the place but instead of finding Felix, he had bumped into a drunk, very drunk, Taeho. The guy had immediately taken a hold of the younger and dragged him to an abandoned alleyway. Jisung could feel the chills running down his spine as he recounted how Taeho had pushed him against the wall, pinning him there with his body and clashing their lips together.

And if it hadn’t been for a random stranger coming around the corner and deciding to interfere, Jisung would probably not have gotten away that easily. 

And the pity Jisung had felt before went flying out the window and a frown settled on his face.

Felix let out a sigh and ran his hands over his face.

‘’All I’m saying is that we have to do something about it before things turn really bad,’’ 

"You know we can't," Jisung replied.

Felix let out a frustrated groan and threw his hands up.

"I know! That’s the problem!," Felix yelled before faceplanting himself into the table.

"Now, can we please drop the topic?," Jisung sighed.

Felix just gave a nod as confirmation and Jisung was grateful. He didn't want to dwell on it when he didn't have to.

It took a while for Felix to finish eating because he was too busy explaining how to sow leather without ruining it. Felix often claimed he didn't want to take over his mom's shop with his sister but he would always get excited about everything he learned anyways.

 

*

 

Minho had made up his mind. Today he was just going to get out. Today was the day. 

With his decision came a child-like giddiness, spreading through his body as he hurriedly pulled his less flashy clothes out of the closet. The first time he had left the castle without anyone knowing, people had stared at him. Minho hadn’t really understood why, seeing as no commoner knew how he, the prince, looked like. It was after a little girl had run up to him and asked him if he was rich because his clothes looked nothing like what the commoners were wearing that he had figured out he stood out too much.

He had hastily purchased other clothes before hurrying back to the castle.

Minho kept the clothes well hidden in the back of his closet. He was sure someone would question him if they ever found them and that would put him in a very unfavourable position. What was a prince doing with a half-worn-out pair of black leather pants, a greyish linen blouse and black boots?

He made sure to be quick, not wanting to get caught by some kind of servant suddenly knocking on his bedroom door. He almost tripped over his own feet as he pushed the boot past his heel, making him land on his bed with a hard thud.

After five minutes, Minho deemed himself dressed. He tucked the blouse into his pants and rolled up his sleeves before hanging his leather bag around his shoulder. The weight told him he had not forgotten to pack his sketchbook and charcoals.

‘’Fighting….,’’ He muttered to himself as he took a deep breath.

Sneaking out was going to be the difficult part. It was daytime after all and the castle would be bustling with people working, making it almost impossible to get out unnoticed. He knew the main gate wasn’t an option but he knew of a back entrance, leading past the wall and into the forest that was stuck to the back of the castle. He had found it a couple of years ago while he was roaming the castle grounds.

Maybe it was a bit worrying that there apparently was a way in and out of the castle that no one knew about, but Minho didn’t think it was that life-threatening. As far as he knew, they didn’t have any enemies or anything so there was no reason for some to need a sneaking way in.

He shot a little prayer to every god in existence, if there even were any, and slowly opened his bedroom door. The hallway was empty and Minho let out a sigh before hurriedly making his way down the hallway and down the little stairs at the end if it. No one really used those stairs, mainly servants, but that only made it a great way down.

He followed the stairs and came out at another side hallway that was barely used. He was about to walk past the kitchen when he heard footsteps, assumingly coming from the corner.

‘’Sh*t,’’ he whispered to himself and he looked around. The kitchen was on his left and just walls everywhere else. 

Minho didn’t really have a choice as the voices came closer and closer so he quickly jumped to his left, opened the door to the kitchen, slipped in and softly closed the door. The heath of the ovens in the room instantly hit him, making him almost break out in sweat. 

‘’Prince Minho?,’’

He spun around and came face to face with Mrs. Im, the woman holding a big blob of dough in her hands. Mrs. Im was a very nice middle-aged lady who had been working in the kitchens for as long as Minho could remember. His mind was filled with memories of him running around in the kitchen, trying to steal freshly-baked cookies and Mrs. Im yelling at him to get out. She could be really scary but Minho was used to that, often finding the way she would scold him more endearing than anything else.

But as much as he loved the woman, he didn’t really feel great about running into her right now. He knew he was incredibly lucky it was her and not someone else, but still.

‘’Good morning Mrs. Kim,’ Minho replied as he plastered a smile on his face.

‘’What brings you here? Not that it isn’t a pleasant surprise but you never come here this early,’’

Minho saw the confusion on her face as she scanned his body. The confusion got replaced by a knowing smirk and Minho tensed up.

‘’I see…,’’

‘’What?,’’ Minho squeaked out.

‘’Nothing,’’ she chuckled before turning her back towards him, gently putting the dough in her hand on the table, ‘’Anyways, I really need to take a good look at this dough,’’

And that confused Minho. What in heavens name was the woman talking about?

‘’Fascinating,’’ The woman continued as she practically shoved her face into the dough.

‘’What?,’’ Minho repeated. He couldn’t recall a moment he had been more confused in his life and for a second he was worried about the woman’s sanity, fearing something was wrong with her head.

‘’I don’t think I can hear anything. I’m so focussed on this dough that I wouldn’t even notice a young prince with black hair and dressed as a commoner slipping past me to sneak out of the castle,’’

It finally clicked and Minho had to stop himself from snorting.

Yep, he really liked Mrs. Kim.

‘’Well, in that case… There is no prince here,’’ He replied with a chuckle as he slowly walked to the other side of the room to reach a backdoor outside, ‘’No one’s sneaking out here. Definitely not using the back door here,’’

He placed his hand on the door and looked back to Mrs. Kim once again. The woman still had her face comically close to the dough, nodding ever so slightly as she kept letting out satisfied hums. 

And with one last giggle, Minho pushed open the door and stepped outside.

 

*

 

It was after breakfast that Felix and Jisung had ventured out into the forest. Jisung had finally found a spot in the forest he deemed good enough to practise. 

"I don't remember you ever using a bow before?," Felix stated from his position on the mossy ground.

"When I was younger my dad taught me for a bit," Jisung replied, twirling the arrow between his fingers as he moved his body sideways, eyes on the big tree on his left.

The arrow was surprisingly heavy but it almost felt... reassuring? Like the weight of it was telling Jisung that he could rely on it to do whatever it needed to do.

‘’Well, are you any good?,’’

Jisung honestly didn’t know. As a little kid he had been able to hit targets but never spot-on. 

‘’I’m about to find out,’’ Jisung responded as he lined up the arrow.

He checked his position again, his father’s words ringing in his head telling him to draw an imaginary line from the target to himself before lining up. Jisung made sure to plant his feet firmly on the ground and let out a long breath as he ran down the movements he was supposed to make in his head.

For some reason he was a little nervous. Maybe it was because it had been a long time ago that he had used the weapon, maybe because it actually was a weapon that could definitely hurt people or maybe it was just because he knew that Felix was silently wishing for him to f*ck up so that he could tease him about it.

Jisung shook his head as he willed his head silent.

 _‘’You are thinking too much. You need to feel. Feel the arrow in between your fingers. Feel the string trying to spring back, not being able to because you are in control,’’_ His father had said.

So Jisung did that. He drew the bow in one swift motion and just let himself feel it for a couple of seconds. He closed one eye and pointed the bow to the big tree. He took one more breath and steadied himself.

Then he let go.

And not even two seconds later, Felix burst out laughing behind him.

‘’Did you even look where you were shooting? And don’t say you sent it into the bushes on purpose,’’

Jisung dropped his arm and facepalmed himself.

Yup, he had been nervous because he just knew he was going to miss. Jisung turned around to look at his best friend, who was almost doubled over from laughing. 

‘’So much for being a badass archer Sung.’’ Felix chuckled way too loudly for Jisung’s liking.

‘’Can’t be good in everything,’’ Jisung responded, feeling slightly disappointed that he indeed wasn’t a ‘'badass archer'’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funny thing happened: Taeho was never meant to be part of the story. I intended for the guy bullying Jeongin to be Sanghoon but my fingers just went off... Maybe because when I was writing this chapter I was still busy finishing up ''Grey Walls & Red Stains''. Maybe I unconsciously included another ''Jinwoon'' but waaaay less fcked up...
> 
> Another funny thing was that I had given a preview (AT the end of Grey Walls & Red Stains) from a scene that happens later on, a very vague one, but someone already guessed what was up it Taeho and Jisung...  
> It went down like this:
> 
>  **The preview I gave:**  
>  ‘’What are you doing?!,’’ Jisung hissed as he came to a stop, a couple of meters away from the figure.  
> ‘’Good afternoon to you too Hannie,’’ Taeho said as he continued to play with the bow.  
> And even though Jisung didn’t like Taeho, he did like his bow very much so without thinking he stalked towards Taeho.  
> ‘’Stop that. You’re going to break it,’’ Jisung said as he tried to gently pull his bow out of Taeho’s hands.  
> And much to Jisung’s surprise, Taeho let go. Jisung didn’t waste any time and hurriedly hung it on his back before kneeling down to get his satchel. It was when Jisung had put away his last arrow that Taeho spoke up.  
> ‘’I think you’re forgetting something Hannie,’’  
> Taeho looked like he was serious so Jisung scanned the area around him but he didn’t see anything laying around. He checked his satchel and there were no arrows missing.  
> Confused, Jisung looked back at Taeho.  
> The latter didn’t look amused. His eyes were piercing and Jisung felt himself shrink for a second.  
> He suddenly wondered how Taeho knew where he was.  
> \---  
> Okay so not THAT telling right? Maybe for you guys because of this chapter but the person knew NOTHING except this scene.
> 
> I got this comment:
> 
>  
> 
> _[…] I'm sensing some patterns with Taeho's personality..? But I'd rather stay curious. Anyways, I'll be waiting for it XoX_
> 
>  
> 
> Me:
> 
>  
> 
> _[…] And what do you mean with ''Patterns''? I won't give anything away so enlighten me :)_
> 
>  
> 
> He/She:
> 
>  
> 
> _Well, I could be entirely wrong of course but my mind is kind of linking Taeho to Jinwoon, but a less bad version of Jinwoon (because let's face it, Jinwoon is a fucking psychopath)._
> 
>  
> 
> _Jisung doesn't like Taeho, but Taeho apparently doesn't feel the same way about Jisung seeing that he just let's him take the bow without doing much. He just wants Jisung to come near him._
> 
>  
> 
> _''I think you're forgetting something, Hannie,’’ could mean so much. It reminds me of something you say to a loved one who leaves without having kissed you goodbye or something. + Usage of a nickname. + Taeho's just glaring intensely at Jisung. = bad vibes._
> 
>  
> 
> _Obviously there's a reason why Jisung doesn't like him so Taeho probably gives off bad vibes in general. […]_
> 
>  
> 
> Me:
> 
>  
> 
> _HHhmmmm…_  
>  *Starts sweating intensely*  
> That's, uuuuuhhh…  
> *Deletes first few chapters*  
> Ha..ha..ha  
> *Rewrites*  
> FUNny tHeOry ;D
> 
>  
> 
>  _Nah, I'm just playing xD But I can see why it looks that way._  
>  \----  
> So you understand I lowkey freaked out xD Look at how smooth I played it off... beautiful!
> 
> (By the way, if you, the person in question, are reading this you now know you were completely right ^^)
> 
> Damn I talk way too much in these notes... Sorry for that.
> 
>  
> 
> **Research stories pt. 3**
> 
>  
> 
>  _Lammas day – or ‘loaf mass’ – is traditionally when people celebrate the first wheat harvest in England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, and is the noted as the first harvest festival (but much earlier than THE harvest festival which is in September) of the season. Grains that are harvested at Lammas time include, wheat, barley, oats, rye as well as the plants meadowsweet, mint, sunflower and Calendula. The festival’s roots date back to Anglo Saxon times when the festival was referred to as the ‘feast of first fruits’. It also marks the end of the hay harvesting season. Lammas Day is usually around the beginning of August and coincides with when tenant farmers would have presented the first crop harvest to their landlord._ (Metro UK, 2017)


	4. Stop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've survived taking care of a baby and a four-year old for three full days xD  
> Honestly the most nerve-wracking thing I've ever done in my 22 years of existence... Even bungee-jumping was less stressful.

It was when Minho was standing in the middle of the road, people brushing past him left and right, that he realised he had pulled it off. Getting around the castle and onto the road to the city had been challenging, dozens of guards patrolling the area, but he had slipped past them.

Minho already felt great. The smells and sounds felt oddly like home. What he meant by that, Minho didn’t really know himself either. It was a certain warmth and comfort and he imagined that it was what home was supposed to be in its most comprised form.

He took his time as he wandered the city, letting his eyes take in every little detail. From the worn down stones he was walking on to the kids playing near the well on his left. It was still quite early and he could see the people walking around trying to get fresh bread from the baker and the best pieces of meat from the butcher.

Minho wondered what it was like to live such a simple life. A life where all you had to worry about was today, a life where your worries didn’t consist of living up to people’s expectations, a life where it wasn’t necessary to worry about being a pawn. Minho knew it wasn’t right to downplay other people’s struggles, but that didn’t prevent him from doing exactly that.

The grass was always greener on the other side, right?

‘’Hello young lad!,’’

Minho tore his eyes from the various fabrics hanging from a small stall and looked over to where the voice had come from.

A middle aged man, holding onto a cart behind him, was looking at him with a big smile on his face. Minho found it odd to get addressed so suddenly so he quickly took a glance around himself but found that he was the only ‘young lad’ around.

‘’Me?,’’ Minho asked as he pointed towards himself.

‘’Yes you!,’’ The man replied, ‘’Could you please help me? My cart in stuck and I’m afraid I can’t get it out myself,’’

The request threw Minho a bit off. He had been in the city a few times but he rarely interacted with anyone, let alone help them out with something. It’s not like he was too stuck up to get himself dirty but he had always been cautious, afraid of slipping up somewhere and people finding out he was the next in line for the throne.

‘’Sure,’’ Minho settled on and went over to the man, the latter now beaming.

‘’How kind of you kid. I’ll pull and you push at three okay?,’’

Minho nodded and took place behind the cart. It looked old, the wheels dangerously swaying as he placed his hands on the back of the cart and he wondered why the man didn’t get a new one, just to be sure. It would be a shame if the vegetables in the back would end up in the mud.

And Minho felt like a jackass as he figured that the man probably didn’t have money to buy a new one.

The man counted down and Minho used his whole body-weight as the man pulled. With a lot of creaking and huffing, the wheel got out of the hole. The man turned around and his smile was even bigger than before, if that was even possible.

‘’Thank you very much young man,’’

‘’Don’t sweat it Sir. I’m glad to help,’’

‘’I wish I could repay you for your kindness, but unfortunately I don’t have much,’’ The man said, his voice grew more quiet.

And that was one of the things Minho had learned from his undercover trips. The people here didn’t have much, just enough to get by themselves, but they never hesitated to help each other out or show their gratefulness.

When he had first witnessed it, he had been baffled. He had been walking around the city on a cold winters day, his woollen cape wrapped around himself tightly, when he had stumbled across a woman with a small child sitting next to the road. The kid, which couldn’t have been much older than two years old, was crying loudly. When he had stepped a bit closer to the pair he had seen that they were poorly dressed, their clothes worn out and in no way sufficient to keep out the cold. Their faces were stained by dirt and Minho had figured that they had no home, no money. Nothing.

It was then that another woman crouched down next to them, taking off her own weathered-down overcoat and draped it over the woman and her child. The little kid stopped crying after a little while the women were talking in hushed voices. The mother of the child had attempted to give back the coat, trying to convince the other woman that she couldn’t keep it because she had no way to repay her and they had argued back and forth about the matter.

That was when Minho had stepped in. The whole scene had been so confronting, so sad, that it made Minho’s heart ache. He had taken off his own cape, thrusted some money into the mother’s hand and quickly walked off.

‘’Hold out your hand young man,’’

Minho snapped out of his thoughts and looked back at the man. The latter was holding out a fist and from what Minho could tell, he was holding something in it. Minho did as the man said and as soon as he did, the man opened his fist and something dropped in Minho’s hand.

‘’It’s not much, but I hope you like it,’’

Minho looked down and a necklace lay in his hand. The leather strap was a little worn-down, making it soft to the touch. The pendant was in the shape of a crescent moon, a little star hanging in it. There were details engraved in the moon, decorating it with little swirls and Minho thought that it would have taken hours and hours to get it done. The little star was plain but beautiful nonetheless.

He quickly looked up to decline the gift, the craftsmanship clearly giving away how valuable it was, only to see that the man and his cart where already gone. 

And as he wondered how it would have been possible for the man to run off completely unnoticed, he realised that the whole situation was strange. There had been plenty of people walking around to help the man out, but he had been specifically asked. To add to it, Minho hadn’t expected for the man to be in possession of such an expensive item. He had looked fairly poor and it was strange that he hadn’t sold the necklace to get some extra money. The disappearing act was the cherry on top.

Minho did his best to look for the man but he didn’t find him anywhere. After the sun was well high up in the sky he decided to give up and he hung the necklace around his neck, hoping he would cross paths with the man someday to give him back the necklace.

 

*

 

Jisung had been practising all afternoon, slowly getting better and better, the arrows no longer landing in the bushed or bouncing off the tree but actually sticking into the wood. It was only after Felix loudly announced he had finished reading his book that he decided to call it quits and not because his arms were starting to hurt. Not at all.

‘’You should just shoot Taeho the next time he comes creeping around,’’ Felix suddenly exclaimed.

Jisung turned to look at his best friend and saw that dumb smile again.

‘’The f*ck Lix!,’’ he replied, shocked by the suggestion. 

‘’Just kidding! Geez,’’ Felix huffed as he rolled his eyes.

To be honest, it did sound tempting to Jisung but he knew that he would never be able too aim at another human being, no matter how much they deserved it. Heck, he knew he wouldn’t even be able to intentionally shoot an animal.

After walking away their walk back, Jisung’s house came into view. Felix yawned as the walked up to the front door, the boy mentioning earlier that he had been reading almost all night last night and therefore had barely gotten any sleep.

‘’I don’t get why you are so obsessed with books,’’ Jisung muttered as he turned to Felix, just in time to see him stretch his arms above his head.

‘’I don’t get why you aren’t,’’ Felix shot back, ‘’You’re missing out man,’’

Felix had learned to read when he was eight. Some random merchant had passed through the village one day and Felix had ran into him. The guy had asked for directions and of course Felix had been so kind to show him the way. One thing had led to another and Felix had ended up playing tour-guide all day.

It was the merchant who had brought books a couple of weeks later and taught Felix how to read as some sort of repayment. This had continued for months. The traveller came by almost every week to sit down with Felix. And to everyone’s surprise, Felix had learned quickly. Even so much so that he had taught Jisung.

It was in the years following that it started to dawn on Jisung that his best friend was smart. Really smart. Not just because he learned everything without much effort but also because he always seemed to know what to do in any given situation. He came up with ideas and solutions like it was no big deal.

Jisung was sure that if Felix had been born into a wealthier family he would have been learning to become a chancellor or some other occupation with high status.

Jisung noticed that Felix had come to a stop, no longer walking next to him. Jisung stopped and turned around. Felix looked like he was thinking.

‘’…..Is it weird that I miss Mr. Kang sometimes?,’’ Felix suddenly asked, frown on his face.

‘’No, of course it isn’t Lix,’’ Jisung responded, slightly thrown off by the question.

Jisung really didn’t think so. The merchant, Kang Dongchul, had spent so much time with Felix that it wasn’t weird that young Felix had grown attached. He had been a kid without a father around and Dongchul had been incredibly kind to him.

‘’But it is right? I mean, it was ten years ago…,’’

Jisung didn’t miss the slight sadness in his voice and he felt bad for his best friend. 

‘’Felix listen,’’ Jisung said as he took a step closer to his best friend, ‘’It’s not weird to miss someone you know or knew, no matter the circumstances,’’

Felix smiled a little at that and nodded his head as if he was convincing himself of Jisung’s words.

‘’I’m sorry, I’m being dramatic,’’ he replied, eyes fixated on the ground.

Jisung let out a little sigh and embraced his best friend. Felix immediately gripped the back of Jisung’s blouse and rested his head on his shoulder.

‘’Don’t apologize for your feelings Lix. You know you can always tell me whatever goes on in that head of yours yeah?,’’ Jisung said as he ran his hand through Felix’s hair, ‘’I’ll never judge you no matter what,’’

Jisung could feel Felix nod against his shoulder before detaching himself.

‘’Better?,’’ He asked.

‘’Better,’’ Felix beamed back.

Suddenly, loud laughter, clearly belonging to Jisung’s father, could be heard coming from inside. The airy laugh that followed was not surprising.

‘’Seriously…,’’ Felix muttered beside Jisung, ’’Can’t those two get married already?!,’’

Jisung laughed as he felt the exact same way and opened the door. When he and Felix stepped in they were met by a familiar sight.

‘’So, are Jisung and I going to be brothers anytime soon or not?,’’ Felix casually asked as his eyes shifted from his mom to Jisung’s dad, the two holding hands as they sat across the table from each other.

‘’Felix! What are you saying?,’’ Felix’s mom exclaimed, quickly drawing her hands back.

Felix just shrugged before making his way to Jisung’s room, ignoring his mom.

Jisung just had to laugh. His dad didn’t seem impressed at all at the fact that he and Felix had just walked in. Jisung knew that his dad knew that he wasn’t dumb so his dad never really sneaked around. 

Apparently Felix’s mom was the only one who though that Jisung and her own son weren’t in the loop about whatever was going on between Jisung’s dad and her, the shock on her face giving away that she felt like they got busted.

‘’Heey kiddo! How was your day?,’’ Jisung’s dad asked, ignoring the panicked look on the female on the other side of the table.

‘’It was nice. I practised,’’ Jisung replied as he motioned to the bow and satchel on his back.

‘’Good. How did it go?,’’

‘’Eeehhmmm…… No comment,’’ Jisung huffed.

And there was the booming laughter again. Jisung could see that Felix’s mom relaxed at the sound, which Jisung found weird because it was too loud, almost hurting his ears. Not exactly relaxing.

‘’Wouldn’t expect anything else,’’ Jisung’s dad said as he came down from his laughing fit.

Jisung’s eyes narrowed and he felt a small smile creep up his face.

Two could play that game.

‘’Whatever, _old man_ ,’’ Jisung smirked before running off to his room.

‘’Han Jisung!,’’ He could hear his dad yell before the booming laughter filled the house.

 

*

 

‘’Where have you been all day?!,’’ The king yelled.

Minho shrunk, feeling the anger of his father seeping into his body, making him tense up.

‘’You knew that you were expected for dinner!,’’

And Minho felt so stupid. He shouldn’t have chosen to take a walk through the forest on his way back, stopping to lazily sketch the trees and flowers. Without him noticing, it had already started to get dark when he was back in his room. He had just unpacked his bag when a knock had come to the door. When he had opened it, Chan had stormed in, looking very distressed.

He had explained that they had been looking for him all day, every guard being on high-alert. The king had been furious after he had found out that Minho had been no where to be found, resulting in Chan getting cussed out for not paying attention.

Chan had scolded Minho after he had taken in his appearance. Chan knew that he tried to sneak away every now and then and Chan wasn’t happy about it.

In the middle of it all, Minho had suddenly remembered that he had missed dinner and thereby screwed up really bad. He had quickly changed clothes, sprinted out of his room, leaving an angry Chan behind him and made his way towards his father’s study.

He had been intercepted in the big hall by none other than his father and that’s how he had found himself in this situation.

‘’Do you know how difficult it was to come up with an excuse as to why the crown prince wasn’t around?!,’’

‘’I’m really sorry. I lost trac-,’’

The slap on his cheek didn’t come as a surprise. It was so usual at this point that Minho could almost laugh about it.

‘’I don’t want your pathetic excuses,’’ 

With that, his father stormed out of the big hall, leaving Minho alone in the silence with a stinging cheek.

 

*

 

The next day Jisung was in the forest again, shooting his arrows at the innocent trees with his hair sticking to his forehead. He had been at it all afternoon, getting a bit better with every arrow he shot. He slowly started to get the hang of it and he was thoroughly having fun.

The only thing that really wasn’t fun was fetching his arrows. The ones that stuck to the tree were okay, but the ones that missed were a hell to find again. Luckily he had Felix with him, who was sometimes so kind as to put his book down and help Jisung comb the bushes.

Jisung was just about to shoot when Felix loudly shut his book. Jisung let his arms drop and turned his torso.

‘’What? You need attention or something?,’’ Jisung asked as he rolled his eyes at Felix.

Felix just giggled, clearly not offended at all. 

‘’A certain part of me does,’’ Felix replied, wiggling his brows.

And Jisung had to try really hard not to slap some sense into his best friend. 

‘’Lix, I love you but you don’t need to keep me updated on your bodily functions,’’

‘’Sorry not sorry,’’ The freckled boy replied, ‘’But what I wanted to say was that I have to go. Lunch you know. I need it now or I’ll die,’’

‘’So you’re just going to ditch me for some food?,’’ Jisung replied as he watched Felix getting up and dusting the grass off his clothes.

‘’Sorry darling but my heart, well… stomach, tells is the right thing to do,’’

‘’I’m getting a divorce,’’ Jisung replied as he turned his body and drew his bow again, ignoring Felix’s chuckles as he focussed on the tree. 

And he missed. 

He let out a sigh as he let his shoulders slump before turning back to face his friend.

‘’Lix, help?,’’ Jisung asked as Felix grabbed his book from the ground.

‘’Nope. You divorced me, remember? Do it yourself loser,’’ Felix said before waving and running off.

Jisung groaned as he watched his friend disappear and he put down his bow, mentally preparing himself for the time he was going to waste looking for the arrow.

Much to his surprise it didn’t take long, the arrow stuck in the first bush he searched, just a couple of meters behind the tree.

He stepped out of the bushes, inspecting the arrow. It seemed to be okay but Jisung was suddenly afraid that he would end up destroying one if he kept going. He figured it was time to call it quits. Now that he was thinking about it, he was getting a bit hungry as well and the way his hair stuck to his forehead was starting to bother him.

His mood really worsened when he stepped past the tree and saw someone standing right in the spot he had when practising, the bow in his hand and pretending to shoot arrows.

‘’What are you doing?!,’’ Jisung hissed as he came to a stop, a couple of meters away from the figure.

‘’Good afternoon to you too Hannie,’’ Taeho said as he continued to pretend he was shooting arrows.

And even though Jisung didn’t like Taeho, he did like his bow very much. So without thinking he stalked towards Taeho. 

‘’Stop that. You’re going to break it,’’ Jisung said as he tried to gently pull his bow out of Taeho’s hands.

And much to Jisung’s surprise, Taeho let go. 

Jisung didn’t waste any time and hurriedly hung it on his back before kneeling down to get his satchel. It was when Jisung had put away his last arrow that Taeho spoke up.

‘’I think you’re forgetting something Hannie,’’

Taeho looked like he wasn’t joking so Jisung scanned the area around him but he didn’t see anything laying around. He checked his satchel and counted his arrows but there were none missing.

Confused, Jisung looked back at Taeho.

The latter didn’t look amused. His eyes were set in a piercing glare and Jisung felt himself shrink for a second.

He suddenly wondered how Taeho knew where he was.

And then it clicked.

Jisung felt a shiver run down his spine as he figured Taeho had followed him and Felix. And now that Felix was gone…

So without responding, Jisung turned around and started sprinting. He was getting hit by branches left and right, feeling the sharp edges drag across the skin on his face and arms but he was too focussed on not tripping to actually notice.

He made it to the end of the trail and almost up the main road when there was a tug on the satchel hanging on his back, making him stumble backwards and his back hit Taeho’s torso.

‘’Where do you think you’re going?,’’ Taeho whispered in his ear.

Jisung hated when Taeho did that and his body froze as an arm snuck around his hip, pulling him back even more.

‘’I think an apology for yesterday is in order,’’ Taeho continued, his nails almost digging into Jisung’s skin through the thin fabric of his blouse.

‘’S-stop,’’ Jisung said as he tried to pry Taeho’s fingers away.

‘’It’s not nice to kick people Jisung,’’ Taeho sneered.

Taeho’s hand started travelling down before they came to a stop at the waistband of Jisung’s pants. Jisung could feel Taeho’s breath on his neck and the previous heath that had been trapped in his body disappeared instantly, getting replayed by a piercing cold.

''That really hurt, you know?,'' 

Jisung was about to tell Taeho that it had been the point but the words got stuck in his throat when Taeho's hand travelled down.

‘’I’m sorry,’’ Jisung whispered as it became a bit difficult to breathe.

Jisung could feel Taeho’s muscles tense before he suddenly pulled away.

Jisung didn’t bother to ask Taeho what was up with his reaction, dashing forward and onto the main road instead. He didn’t stop running until he slammed his bedroom door closed. 

He was out of breath and even sweatier than before, but that wasn’t what was bothering Jisung. It was the fact that this was really, really getting out of hand and he suddenly realised that he really didn’t know what to do about it.

Jisung sat down in front of his bed, pulled his legs to his chest and rested his head on his knees.

And he stayed there for hours, just thinking.

The more time passed, the more he started to doubt himself. What if he was making this bigger than it was? What if his head was just screwing with him, telling him that he was playing the victim for no good reason? What if it’s his fault that Taeho was acting like that?

A knock on his door pulled him out of his thoughts. He looked up and noticed that the sun had already gone down, his room completely dark.

There was another knock on the door but Jisung couldn’t find it in him to speak up or move. He suddenly felt exhausted and rested his head on his knees again.

His bedroom door swung open.

‘’Jiji! Your dad asked me to tell you that-,’’

Jisung could hear Felix coming to a stop. He was sure his friend was confused but he was too tired to lift his head from his knees.

‘’Jisung? Why are you sitting there?,’’

Jisung just shrugged, not trusting himself to speak. He could feel his eyes watering as the familiar and oh so comforting voice filled his ears and he desperately tried to blink it away, telling himself that nothing was wrong, that it wasn’t as bad as it seemed. But no matter what he told himself, he felt the excess moisture escaping his eyes.

‘’Sung, what is going on?,’’ Felix asked, his voice closer and softer than before. 

Jisung figured he had taken place on the floor, right in front of him, as he could feel two tiny hands wrap around his ankles.

‘’Look at me,’’ 

And Felix’s voice was so gentle and warm that Jisung couldn’t stop a sob from making it past his lips. The grip on his ankles tightened before they were gone, tugging at Jisung’s arms in an attempt to unwrap them.

‘’Sungie,’’ 

The alarm in his voice prompted Jisung to lift his head and look at his best friend. The worry in Felix’s eyes was overwhelming, making Jisung’s stomach drop and he let out another strangled sob.

‘’Oh sweetie…,’’

Jisung practically threw himself into Felix’s arms, the latter immediately wrapping his arms around Jisung.

Jisung felt like he was that twelve year old boy again. He was back. Hating, wondering what it was he was doing wrong, what he ever did to deserve all of this. And no matter how much or how long he thought about it, he could never find another reason than his hair being light-blonde and his eyes not being as dark as everyone else.

He had asked his dad after Sanghoon had first addressed it in a teasing manner. His dad had told him that it was because he was born on the day the sun was finally come out of hiding after winter. He had bought the story for a few years but as he turned eleven he had figured that it was bullsh*t. Plenty of kids had been born on sunny days and none of them deviated from the standard brown, whether light or dark.

And now that he was enveloped in the warmth of Felix, he felt incredibly sad, the years of bullying and Taeho’s unwanted advances catching up to him.

They stayed like that for what felt like hours before Felix slowly pulled away, placing his hands on Jisung cheeks to wipe away the tears.

‘’Talk to me Sungie,’’

Jisung let out shaky breath and wondered where to start.

‘It’s… I don’t know. I don’t know what to do Lix,’’

Felix seemed to think deeply, his eyebrows tightly knit together.

‘’… Don’t tell me it was Taeho again,’’ 

Jisung didn’t respond as he fidgeted with the sleeve of his blouse. Felix seemed to understand the silence and the look in his eyes changed.

‘’That mother*cker…,’’ Felix hissed, ‘’What did he do? Are you hurt? Did he hurt you?,’’

‘’I-I don’t know,’’

Jisung could see that Felix was aching for answers but he couldn't bring himself to talk about it right now. He felt horrible and just wanted the day to end.

‘’...You know what? Let’s get you to bed okay?,’’ Felix said softly, pushing himself up from the floor and reached towards Jisung.

Jisung once again realised how tired he actually was, the feeling he had been completely drained and he tiredly took Felix’s outstretched hand. Jisung let himself being pushed back under the covers, Felix slipping in right next to him and pulling Jisung close.

Jisung let out a content sigh as he buried his head in his best friend’s chest, Felix’s arms wrapping around him as he snuggled closer.

‘’I love you so much, you know that right?,’’ Felix whispered as he ran his hand through Jisung’s hair, ‘’No matter what other people say or do I will always stick with you okay?,’’

Jisung knew that trying to respond was going to be useless, his voice probably giving out under the emotion, so he just gave a weak nod.

‘’Good. Sweet dreams Sungie,’’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm playing a dangerous game...  
> I haven't finished writing chapter five yet but here I am, uploading chapter 4.  
> I knew that his wasn't the best idea xD Oh well.
> 
> So, I used to have this male co-worker and ooh booyyy… Hated the guy. I was stuck with him for twelve hours a day for a whole week and let me tell you, I have never been so confused about life as I had been that week. It takes me a long time to open up to people, let alone let them touch me and this guy had the nerve to give me a back-hug thirty minutes after we met. 
> 
> It just got worse as the week progressed (Hugs, asking for kisses, sexually tinted remarks etc.) and every evening on the bus ride home I would just zone out, wondering if I seriously would have to report the guy to the police for sexual harassment, if I wasn't making a bigger deal out of it than it was, if my feelings were just not correct etc. It's kinda sad to say but as a female I've had multiple times that there would be hands in places without my consent but I think thats just part of being female. Like, who hasn't had that experience at least once?
> 
> I digress xD In the end the guy got transferred to another store and I've never seen him since. Still feel pretty bad about it though... it pisses me off. I think the worst part of it was that I am the type that gets giggly when I am nervous so I never managed to tell him to fck off. And I was eighteen and my parents were on holiday for the week so I felt lonely as hell.
> 
> I don't know why I'm telling this. Oh right, basically just self-projecting onto Jisung.
> 
>  
> 
> **Research stories pt.4**
> 
>  
> 
> \- Almost everyone was illiterate in the middle ages, rich, poor, man or woman... Everyone. Of course some people weren't, mostly people connected to the church (priest etc.) and sometimes merchants.


	5. Smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man,  
> This marks the beginning of the end of my (not really) regular update-schedule.

It had been a week since Minho had snuck out of the castle, meaning that his father was finally not screaming at him anymore. Not that he really cared, but it was nice that his ears finally stopped ringing from being assaulted all the time.

He let out a sigh and leaned back against the big oak. He had rushed to his favourite spot in the garden as soon as he had finished his dance lessons, his body and mind needing some alone time. He had manage to draw a bunch of flowers when Chan and Seungmin had shown up, quietly taking place on the ground next to him, not even looking his way as he looked up from his sketchbook.

Minho appreciated moments like this, his friends just softly conversating while he listened in as he focussed on the paper in his lap. It was as if time would stop for them for a bit, leaving them in this peaceful place where no one bothered them.

It was a bit weird, the dynamic between them. Of course, when looking at status, Minho was definitely not supposed to be friends with the other two. Chan being an apprentice guardsman and Seungmin being one of the youngest and brightest scholars didn’t mean that they were on an equal level in societies eyes. However, they had decided to say to hell with that even though Minho’s father wasn’t all that pleased about their closeness.

Seungmin’s airy laughter filled the air, snapping Minho out of his trance. He eyed his progress and decided that he could finish the butterfly he was drawing later and flipped to a clean page before clumsily shifting his body so that he was facing his friends, getting a clearer view. They didn’t seem to notice him as he took glances between them and the paper, the charcoal in between his fingers and his hand moving confidently. 

‘’Done,’’

Seungmin and Chan looked at him and Minho shot them a grin as he held up his drawing for them to see. Minho had stacks and stacks of drawings of the two but the pair always seemed to be amazed at every new one. 

‘’Minho, that looks awesome!,’’ Seungmin gaped, scooting forward to take the paper out of Minho’s hand and inspecting it closer, ‘’I don’t get how you pull this off every single time,’’

It would be a lie if Minho said he didn’t feel a bit shy receiving the compliment. He was confident about his skills but the way his friends always seemed to marvel over his work made him feel warm and fuzzy.

Chan stood up and sat back down next to Seungmin, his cheek pressed against the younger so that he could see as well.

‘’I don’t think there is anyone out there that is as good as you,’’ Chan said, ‘’You manage to make my hair look so realistic,’’

Chan’s hair was always the most difficult part. It was curly, making it one hell of a job for it to not look like some messed up mop in a drawing or painting. Over the years, Minho had managed to perfect the skill, making Chan’s hair look fluffy and soft instead.

Minho leaned back against the tree behind him once again, closing his eyes as he could hear his friends pointing out different things in the drawing to each other.

When he opened his eyes again he saw that the sun was now high above his head, meaning it was probably around midday. Minho figured he must have had fallen asleep and therefor missing a couple of hours.

‘’You’re awake,’’

Minho groggily turned his head and saw Chan sitting next to him, Seungmin nowhere in sight.

‘’What are you still doing here?,’’ Minho asked as he heaved his body upright, arching his sore back and he made a mental note, for the umpteenth time, that sleeping slouched against a tree apparently wasn’t very good for your muscles. 

Chan shot a sympathetic smile and Minho suddenly felt anxious.

‘’The Kims will arrive shortly. I came back to make sure you’d be ready on time,’’

How could he have forgotten? He had been dreading the moment so how it had slipped his mind, Minho didn’t know.

He let out sigh and ran his hands over his face, suddenly feeling more exhausted than he had before. Looking back up at Chan, he saw that his lips had tightened, forming a straight line as he held out his hand towards Minho, ready to pull him up. So Minho took a hold of the outstretched hand and let Chan heave him up.

They didn’t talk as Chan accompanied Minho back to his room. Unlike usual, the air was tense, filled with unspoken words of encouragement and pity. Chan had told Minho countless times that this was just part of the deal, part of being who he was and that he had to accept that. Chan was someone who accepted the good and bad sides of everything, saying that it was part of life and Minho really respected that. But despite Chan’s admirable attitude towards life, he had told Minho that he really did feel sorry for him sometimes, saying that he had hoped that choosing who Minho was going to spent the rest of his life with was something he would have a say in.

All too soon Minho’s bedroom door came into view and the dread really started setting in when he opened the door and saw clothes carefully laid out on his bed. He closed the door behind him, leaving Chan to wait outside and made his way to his bed, plopping down as he run his fingers over the fabric of the tunic. It was made of a deep purple with gold thread woven into it in pretty swirls. It was one of the many pretty tunics Minho owned but this one was clearly made to impress.

He stood back up from the bed and slowly took off his clothes and replaced them with the ones on his bed. He took his time, not really caring that he was already running a bit late. After all, the longer he prolonged this the better.

 

*

 

‘’Can I go now?,’’ Jisung asked.

‘’Just finish those and you’re free to go kiddo,’’ Jisung’s dad responded, not even turning around as he carefully poured iron into a malt.

Jisung huffed and turned back around, looking at the couple of daggers left on the table. He had been polishing them all morning and he was getting bored and sweaty. It was just too god damn hot in the shop as the furnace on the other side of the room was blazing like crazy.

He was really missing Felix, whom he hadn’t seen for a whole morning now. His mom had taken him with her to Olann to get some rare black wool and he would be gone for three whole days seeing as the village was quite far away. Felix had been really pissed because one, he didn’t get why his mom couldn’t go get it by herself and two, Jisung had promised his best friend that he could have a shot with his bow.

And now, Jisung had been stuck helping out his dad. He didn’t really have an excuse to bail out now that his usual _‘’I promised Felix to go to the market with him’’_ or _‘’Felix wants me to teach him how to bake a cake’’_ were off the table.

Jisung could feel the sweat dropping down his back and he understood why his dad rarely wore a shirt while he was in here. Jisung felt sticky and gross, his clothes sticking to his skin. He really regretted wearing skin-tight pants and once again concluded that leather clothes were only nice whenever it wasn’t almost summer. At least he had been smart enough to leave his lace-up ankle boots at home this morning, trading them for linen flats. 

Jisung worked as fast as he could. The quicker he finished the better. He worked in silence, only the sound of his father hammering away at something filling the shop.

It was when Jisung had the last dagger in his hand that his father suddenly spoke up.

‘’Jisung,’’ He started off.

‘’Hmm?,’’ Jisung replied, not looking back as he tried to get the polish out of the little engraving on the blade of the dagger.

He always hated that the most. Smooth blades were easy, but those with engravings always took so much effort. It was a pain in the ass to get the gooey stuff out of those miniscule crevices, often resulting in him messing up his nails because there was no other way to get it out without harming the metal.

‘’I heard something at the market this morning,’’ His dad continued, his voice clear now that the hammering had stopped.

Jisung wasn’t really interested. The market was a place where gossip ran wild. Because the village was small, people sought entertainment through made up stories and exaggerated retellings. Jisung was quite the sceptic, not really believing whatever rumour originated from the marketplace.

And now that he thought about it, it was really weird that his dad was trying to relay something to him. Jisung knew that his dad normally didn’t indulge himself with the tales that flew around there.

‘’Some kid was saying that he had seen Taeho bothering you,’’

Jisung almost dropped the dagger in his hands and he froze for a second before resuming his work.

‘’Oh? Weird,’’ He squeezed out without turning around, his eyes loosing focus for a split second.

‘’That’s what I thought but he sounded pretty convinced,’’ His dad replied.

And Jisung really didn’t know what to say so he hoped that not responding would get rid of the topic. It worked, for a few seconds that was.

‘’Jisung, I’m talking to you,’’

The slight raise in his dad’s voice gave away that he wasn’t going to let it slide, so Jisung carefully placed the dagger on the table and wiped his hands with the cloth as he turned around. His dad was leaning against the heavy wooden table next to him with his arms crossed.

‘’It’s just a rumor, dad,’’ He replied, his voice cracking as he noticed the mix of concern and anger in his dad’s eyes.

It hurt a bit, lying to his dad like that, but he wasn’t going to just tell what had been going on. No, that was just uncomfortable and embarrassing. He would take care of it himself. Well, maybe with some support from Felix but that was different.

‘’I know that Taeho gets into trouble more often than not so I’m doubting it’s nothing. I know you guys don’t like each other and I’m your father so I know when something isn’t right Jisung,’’ 

Jisung knew he was cornered, almost as literally as figurately and he let out a deep sigh as he let his arms fall next to his body. He leaned back against the little table as another wave of tiredness hit him.

He could see his dad’s demeanour change immediately, his arms no longer crossed and the look of anger long gone. With a few paces his dad was standing in front of him, heavy hands on Jisung’s shoulders.

‘’Kiddo, what is going on?,’’

And Jisung used all of his energy to evade his dad’s eyes. It felt like the temperature in the room only grew higher and Jisung noticed how the air he breathed in was stinging his lungs a bit.

‘’It’s noth-,’’

A squeeze on his shoulders cut him off and he finally dared to look at his dad.

‘’Did you guys fight again? Is that it?,’’

‘’Dad, relax. I’m fine,’’

Jisung wasn’t really fine and the look on his dad’s face gave away that it showed. His dad had always been very observant, a genius when it came to reading other people and the mood. It was a trait that Jisung had inherited and right now he had wished he could just talk his way out if it, leaving his dad oblivious to it all.

‘’Han Jisung,’’ his dad suddenly burst, eyes on fire, ‘’You either are going to be honest or you can return your bow and arrow,’’

That was the most childish thing Jisung had ever heard and it left him baffled for a second.

‘’What?! How’s that fair?,’’ Jisung screeched out, feeling his eyes widen as he looked his dad in the face.

‘’It isn’t, but neither is you lying to your own father,’’

Touché.

And Jisung thought, to hell with it. He wasn’t going to continue to fight with his dad over something like this so he straightened up and ran down how he was going to start this in his head.

‘’Kiddo…,’’

Jisung was pulled out of his head at the low sound of his dad’s voice.

‘’Did he try to do something again?,’’

His dad knew that somewhere over the years the fighting had morphed into something else thanks to the Lammas Day incident, it had almost been impossible for him to miss that. The whole aftermath had been messy with Felix dragging a crying Jisung back home, his dad overly concerned as Jisung just wouldn’t talk and Felix probably looking like he was going to murder someone. Felix had given a very undetailed explanation and fortunately for Jisung, his dad hadn’t really asked about it after that night, probably sensing that Jisung just wanted to forget it as soon as possible.

‘’Maybe…,’’

Jisung heard his father breathe in deeply and he saw the muscles in his neck tense, his expression unreadable to Jisung.

‘’I was out with Felix and we found him bullying Jeongin. I stepped in and may or may not have ended up kneeing him in his private area…,’’

He hadn’t expected his father to laugh, but he did and the tension in the air disappeared together with the sound, so much so that it made Jisung giggle a little as well.

‘’That’s it kiddo! Bet he hadn’t seen that coming! Wait… no,’’ His dad spoke before making an attempt to stifle his laughter, the amusement still lingering as he tried to straighten-out his face, ‘’Jisung, you shouldn’t hit other kids,''

And Jisung couldn’t help but to chuckle, his dad clearly making an attempt to… parent? Now don’t get him wrong; his dad was the best Jisung could ever ask for but the man wasn’t one to take the ‘’soft’’ route, not when it came to people bothering Jisung for no good reason. His dad believed in justice, in standing up for yourself even if it meant you had to do something that most people didn’t condone. 

He had told him that much after Jisung had decked Taeho in the face a few years back. That reminded Jisung that his dad had gone around and proudly told everyone, whenever he saw an opportunity, that his son wasn’t one to mess with despite his small stature.

‘’I think Mrs. Lee is rubbing off on you dad,’’

''I take that as a compliment!,'' His dad responded enthusiastically before he turned back around and got back to his work, thereby ending the conversation.

Jisung didn’t mind.

He didn’t really want to get into what happened in the forest anyways.

 

*

 

As Minho made his way downstairs with Chan, he started to feel less and less nervous. It was strange. He had expected the opposite to happen but for some reason he felt oddly numb, not really present. Minho was all too familiar with the sensation but he hadn’t really seen it coming.

Minho knew that Chan wanted to say something, the lines on his forehead and the narrowing of his normally plump lips gave it all away, but the older kept silent.

They made their way down the gigantic stairs and Minho couldn’t really feel his limbs anymore. They were there, sure, but his brain wasn’t connected with them. He moved mechanically, not aware of his brain giving orders to his legs to keep doing what they were doing. Minho wondered if that was just how it felt like to get robbed of the last piece of freedom a person could have. A piece of freedom that people were supposed to have.

It was only when he felt a heavy hand on his shoulder that Minho registered that they had arrived in the main hall, his father and mother standing on his right and an insane amount of servants somewhere on his left.

He followed the hand on his shoulder and ended up staring at Chan’s face.

‘’You got this,’’ Chan whispered, shooting him a forced smile before taking a few steps back to stand behind Minho.

Minho took a deep breath and he knew that he didn’t really got this, but he appreciated Chan’s effort to ground him anyways.

It was dead silent. Not a single sound could be heard and the tension was killing Minho. There was this unspoken order, demand if you will, for everybody to be on their best behaviour. That included Minho. He didn’t need to hear it to know what was expected of him.

Then there was a knock on the door. It was soft but Minho couldn’t help but flinch a little.

‘’Finally…,’’ Minho heard his father mutter before wrapping an arm around his mother’s waist.

Minho took a deep breath, his fingers finding his new necklace without command as he closed his eyes. The metal was a little warm to the touch and not at all being calmingly cool like Minho had wished. 

‘’Smile darling,’’

Minho knew there was hell to pay if he didn’t so he plastered a smile on his face and just hoped for the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fck me right?  
> Sorry for the late update guys, I really struggled to write this chapter.  
> A lot of stuff went down the past week (Monsta X concert, moving grandma into elderly home, panic attack that left me disconnected for two days, my dad maybe has a tumor in his brain, little brother had a massive party at home, mom had a little mental breakdown in the middle of the night etc etc.) On top of that, I remembered that I actually have a yt channel with a decent amount of subscribers which I had been severely neglecting so I also rushed out two SKZ edits...
> 
> Over all, it just wasn't working out so I actually didn't get past writing anything beyond this chapter which means that I have reached the point where I'm writing and updating in Realtime. I just KNEW that this was going to happen xD
> 
> So bear with me... I'll really try to update at least once a week!
> 
> **Research stories pt. 5**
> 
> \- Olann is Old Irish for wool, hence being the name of the village Felix went off to for... wool.


	6. Be Careful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shame! Shame!  
> ┬┴┬┴┤(･_├┬┴┬┴  
> I was sooo stuck, you don't even know!
> 
> But hey! Actual plot is kicking off so that's nice right?

‘’This is just splendid! My compliments to the cook,’’

Minho’s mother and father laughed at that, just as fake as the compliment had been.

‘’That’s wonderful to hear. We’re happy it suits your taste,’’

Formalities. Just formalities. Minho knew that.

He looked over at Yeonjoo and from the slight narrowing of her eyes Minho knew she was thinking the same.

Yeonjoo was a really nice girl and she and Minho had been friends from a very young age, but they both opposed the two of them marrying. They had talked about it years ago when their parents’ plan first came to light and they had agreed they didn’t really want to. Sure, they got along fine and marrying a friend was way better than a stranger but it felt wrong.

However, despite the reluctance of both sides, they were here.

Dinner seemed to drag on and on, filled with idle conversation about politics, wealth, art… you name it. Minho really wasn’t paying attention, the renovated dining hal was way more interesting. It had been a room they rarely used, thus it had fallen a bit behind when it came to being up to date with the rest of the castle.

Weeks ago, his mother had decided that it was more than overdue and thought that the visit of their soon-to-be daughter in law and her parents was the perfect excuse to get the renovations starting. 

Minho had to admit that they had done a wonderful job. The previously uneven floor had been sanded down to make it even before placing new stones on top. The walls and ceiling had been repainted, an incredible feat he must say. 

Minho was already long done with dinner when Yeonjoo’s mother decided to address him.

‘’Minho, dear, what do you do in your spare time? I have heard that you are a wonderful artist,’’

He almost chocked on his own spit as everyone’s eyes turned to him. He glanced over to his parents and saw that they weren’t exactly happy with that question. Minho licked his lips and looked back at the other adults present, sitting on his right.

‘’Well, I like to spent my time outdoors, preferably in the gardens. I do draw and sketch but am by no means what you would call an artist Ma’am,’’

Minho’s parents knew he loved to draw ever since he was a little kid but didn’t deem it a fitting pastime for a price. Hunting or mingling with the sons of aristocratic families were more ideal.

‘’The king and queen raised you well, not that I have any right to judge so, but there is no need to be so formal darling. We are going to family soon,’’

Minho could see Yeonjoo cringe from the corner of his eye and had to try his best not to do the same. Instead, he settled on smiling sweetly and hoping that he could retreat into his own room soon.

Of course, that wasn’t what happened. 

‘’Minho, how about you and Yeonjoo take a walk in the gardens? It’s still sunny outside and I’m sure she’d love to see the new chrysanthemums,’’ Minho’s mother spoke after the servants had cleared the table.

Minho was fine with taking a walk in the gardens, he was fine with spending some time with one of his very few friends, but he had set his mind on retreating to his room as soon dinner was over. 

‘’Mother, I-,’’

‘’A simple yes would suffice son,’’ His father cut in.

And that was that.

Minho tried to hide his disappointment as he slowly got up and made his way over to Yeonjoo, helping her by pulling her chair back as she stood up, offering her his arm to loop hers through.

She smiled sweetly at him, but Minho knew it was all an act, one he went along with.

‘’If you would excuse us,’’ Minho spoke, adding a little bow, Yeonjoo following him.

‘’You are excused,’’

They made their way out of the dining hall, pulling away from each other as soon as the big doors closed behind them.

‘’Uhhg, this dress is so damn itchy!,’’ Yeonjoo screeched as she wiggled around.

Minho couldn’t help but laugh at the sight and continued to do so as he lead Yeonjoo through the castle and to the gardens ,‘’You know, wiggling like a worm probably isn’t going to help,’’

Yeonjoo looked up and stopped squirming ,’’I know! Do you have any idea how difficult it was to keep still during dinner? I wanted to cry so badly,’’

They kept quarrelling like that until they had reached the fountain and sat down on a bench. 

It was indeed still sunny outside, the birds chirping away as they entertained themselves in the fountain. Minho looked up and saw that the sky was a beautiful orange, informing that it was pretty late already.

A soft sigh guided his head down and to his left. Yeonjoo was staring ahead, eyes lost in whatever she was seeing. Minho did see the faint sadness lingering in her eyes and he understood. So he didn’t bother to ask what was wrong and they stayed there, sitting in silence until the sky grew dark and stars coming out of hiding.

‘’We should get back,’’ Minho started off, turning to look at Yeonjoo.

She finally peeled her eyes away from what she was looking at and met his eyes ,’’We should,’’

It was when Minho was finally back in his room after having escorted Yeonjoo back to her chambers that he realised that they hadn’t been their usual self. They had always been so good at dismissing the inevitable, ignoring the issue at hand and just enjoy spending time together, but this time they hadn’t. Minho figured that they had both reached a point where they had given up, acknowledging that you could only pretend for so long.

And that was really sad. It was really, really unfortunate that they no longer could.

 

*

 

When Jisung woke up it was still pitch black outside and it left him disoriented for a few seconds. He groggily sat up and wondered what had woken him up, seeing as he was one to sleep through everything, including that one big storm last fall that had left half the village in shambles. 

He let out groan before he clumsily crawled over his bed towards the window. With nimble fingers he pried the little wooden doors open, only to be met by the bright light coming from the moon and a soft breeze ruffling his hair.

His grumpiness disappeared instantly and he took in a deep breath. He loved nights like these, the full moon illuminating the otherwise dark village. The stars were so bright, so many filling the night sky that Jisung gave up counting them as soon as he had started.

In his dream-like state, he registered something like whispering coming from somewhere. He perked up and held his breath in an attempt to locate the sound, but it was gone. Deeming himself crazy and still half asleep, he let himself breathe.

Then there was a dull thud coming from somewhere in the house and Jisung instantly tensed as his heart sped up. 

He knew that his dad was asleep in his room - the man exhausted and calling it a night right after dinner - so it couldn’t be him. After all, he had his gift for sleeping from his dad.

And Jisung was here, in his room, so that meant that there was someone else in their house.

He knew it was stupid, but he didn’t think twice as he softly scooted away from the window and stepped off his bed. Of course the floorboard creaked as soon as he put weight on it and Jisung flinched, halting all movement and listening again.

It was only after a good amount of time that he moved forward again, hesitating when he reached his bedroom door. 

What was he doing? What if his guts were right and someone was robbing them? Not that they had much to rob in the first place, put that was not the point.

Curiosity took the best of him and he slowly opened the door, peeking his head out. It was dark but he did see faint candle-light coming from the left. It was then that he heard whispers again, this time a little clearer and Jisung recognized one voice to be his dad’s. 

There were about a handful of more voices mingled with his dad’s and it frustrated Jisung to wits end that he couldn’t hear what they were talking about. So he did another stupid thing and stepped into the little hall, praying the old wooden floor to stay quiet as he tiptoed his way over to the voices.

When he came to the corner he pressed his back against the wall before carefully peeping around the corner.

He shot his head back quickly and he could feel his eyes grow wide. It wasn’t simply a couple of people sitting and standing around their table, but at least a dozen. 

‘’It’s the best plan we have right now,’’

Jisung recognised the voice. It was most definitely Mr. Shin, the baker.  
But why was he here? Why was anyone here at this time of night?

The whole situation was so confusing that Jisung would believe it if someone told him he was still dreaming.

‘’But what about the royal guard? The younger guys may not now your face but the older ones will. If you go it will be more risky,’’ someone said.

‘’It’s risky either way. Why do you think I rarely take him with me? Why do you think I make him wear a hooded cape all the time?,’’ Jisung’s dad hissed back.

‘’All I’m saying is that we cant keep him hidden forever, not anymore. We have to move soon and if you go it will only decrease the chances for the boy,’’

‘’I agree. His hair and eyes are already a dead giveaway! We just can’t and you know it!,’’

And Jisung felt his heart drop to his stomach as a voice in his head told him that they were talking about him. 

‘’I don’t care! He’s my son!,’’ His dad bellowed.

There was the sound of chairs scraping over the floor and then silence.

‘’Cut it out you two! You know we don’t have a lot of choices or time here so now is not the time to fall apart!,’’

Was that Felix’s sister? Why was she here?

‘’Maybe it’s a good idea to call it quits for now. We can continue this tomorrow,’’ Someone else continued ,’’I’ll see if I can meet up with the guy again and see how much land the royal guards have covered,’’

That was it. Jisung wanted to know what the heck was going on. Why were they talking about him? Did they had to leave? And what did the royal guards have to do with it?

He stepped around the corner without thinking much of it and as soon as he did he made eye contact with Mr. Shin, the man’s eyes growing wide before they shot down to look at Jisung’s dad, who was sitting at the table with his back towards him.

‘’What is going on?,’’ Jisung asked, his eyes darting around the room.

He now recognised a few of the other people. The butcher, Mr. Nam, the lady who manages the market, Mrs. Yang, Jeongin’s mother…

His dad got the hint from Mr. Shin and turned his head around, their eyes meeting ,’’Jisung!,’’ He yelled before he sprung up ,’’What are you doing here?!,’’

Jisung couldn’t help but feel a bit alarmed at the slight panic in his dad’s voice. It made it clear that he wasn’t supposed to have heard or seen anything ,’’I-I… uhh, woke up and heard noise coming… from…,’’ He trailed off, aware of the way his dad was almost glaring at him.

‘’How much did you hear?,’’ His dad continued, taking a few steps forward.

Never in his life had Jisung felt so intimidated by his own dad. It was an odd sensation, especially because Jisung felt he had the right to know why they had been talking about him and what they had talked about. 

So Jisung pushed the feeling aside as he could feel the frustration grow. The situation was so ridiculous, so… weird, that Jisung wanted answers.

‘’Not enough. What were you talking about?,’’ He heard himself say. Jisung ignored the way his mouth dried up, pushing away the nerves.

His dad halted his steps ,’’That’s none of your concern, Jisung. Go back to bed,’’

Oh hell no. Jisung wasn’t going to be brushed away so easily ,’’I’m not going back to bed until you tell me why you were talking about me!,’’

His dad deflated and let out a deep sigh ,‘’We weren’t talking abou-,’’

‘’You were. I’m not dumb dad. Who else has to god damn hide away every time we go somewhere? Who else had these freak-features that no one around has?,’’   
Jisung was getting worked up and he could feel it all the way in his bones, his eyes stinging as the frustration grew.

‘’Okay. Everyone out!,’’ And with that, the other adults trickled out of their house, leaving Jisung and his dad alone, staring at each other.

Just as Jisung was about to open his mouth again, his dad spoke up.

‘’Do you trust me?,’’

That threw Jisung off completely. Not just the question, but how sad his dad sounded, ‘’Of course I do. What’s going on?,’’

‘’If you do, please forget everything you’ve heard,’’ His dad replied, sitting back down on the chair he was seated on earlier.

Jisung couldn’t just do that, he couldn’t just erase his brain or something, ‘’I’m really confused dad. Why can’t you just explain?,’’

His dad rubbed his face before letting his head fall in his hands, looking back up after a few agonizing seconds of silence.

‘’Jisung, I’ll tell you when it is time but for now, please trust me and don’t ask again,’’

As much as Jisung wanted to quell his thirst for answers, the defeated image of his dad pleading him to stop asking was overwhelming. He did trust his dad, of course he did, so he trusted him to tell him one day.

He let himself relax, knowing that now was no time to pressure his dad into telling him anything. It was probably just going to end in a full on fight anyways and he didn’t want that either.

‘’Okay dad,’’

His dad smiled, albeit tiredly, before he stood up and walked over to Jisung, pulling him into a hug.

‘’Thank you kiddo,’’

 

*

 

‘’And what will you be doing there?,’’ Minho asked, moving to the side as Chan softly pushed him away.

Chan placed his boots on the little table in his tiny room and reached over to a wooden box on the corner of the table, opening it up and pulling out a needle and thread ,‘’Nothing much. Just mainly observing because I’m not officially part of the royal guard yet,’’

Minho watched as Chan threaded the needle with nimble expertise, his eyes trained on the object as he pulled one end of the thread to match the length of the other side. 

‘’Well, when will you get back?,’’ He asked as he finally found a place in a corner where he wouldn’t hinder Chan. Minho _knew_ that Chan’s bedroom was small, way smaller than his of course, but it always managed to shock Minho whenever he was here.

The older didn’t reply for a few seconds, his attention fully on puncturing the fabric of his boots, somewhere near the tear in it. Minho found it oddly soothing to see Chan caught up in his task and he kind of forgot he had asked Chan a question in the first place until the older spoke up.

‘’Depends on how much ground we cover. As far as we know, they reached the east a couple of days ago and need some back-up,’’

There fell another silence as Chan kept on sewing, the task progressing smoothly and Minho wondered how many times Chan had done this exact same thing over and over again to be able to perfect it.

‘’Back-up for what though?,’’ Minho asked, trying to sound not to eager to get a _useful_ answer as he studies his nails. There was charcoal stuck under them and even though it was supposed to bother him, it wasn’t. For some reason it made him feel a bit more… normal? Like he wasn’t some rich kid that got everything handed to him on a silver plate – which, honestly, he actually was – and like he actually used his own hands once in a while, getting them dirty like any _normal_ person.

From the corner of his eyes, Minho saw Chan cutting of the thread before placing the needle down. Minho was truly amazed at how fast he was.

‘’They think they found the main figures puppeteering the -,’’ Chan stopped abruptly and let out a deep sigh as he hung his head before lifting it back up and training his eyes back on his boots.

For a few seconds Minho thought that he had gotten Chan to spill, taking advantage of the fact that the older was just too damn focussed on his own handiwork to think about what he was saying. That was until Chan stopped and Minho knew that was the end of it.

’’I know what you’re trying to do Minho but I can’t tell you, you know that,’’ Chan said as he inspected the seam he had made ,‘’I barely get told anything in the first place so I don’t want to screw up by letting go of any little bit of information I do get,’’

Minho knew that, but he had still hoped he would have gotten a but further, giving him a bit more insight in the situation. Alas, he had gotten as much as he had expected and he silently cursed Chan’s incredible ethic towards his position in the guard.

But he couldn’t complain about it, not really. After all, it only confirmed how much Chan was cut out for the job, proving over and over again that there wasn’t anyone better to be in charge of Minho’s safety in the future.

‘’No one ever tells me anything…,’’

That wasn’t all true. His father had let him sit in on a meeting yesterday and it was there that Minho had first heard about a possible rebellion, one that had been simmering for longer than Minho had been alive. 

One of the men on the counsel had chimed in, saying that the rebels had grown in numbers over the years and that spies had informed them that they were on the move, whatever that had meant. His father, the king, had held a speech in the throne room about all the horrible and sinful things ‘’Satan’s offspring’’, is how his father had said it, had been doing.  
It was there that Minho found out that it was the reason that half of the guards had been gone for weeks, apparently combing the country in an attempt to seek out those who were involved.

Minho didn’t know how to feel about it. He was sure that his father and his counsel had a good reason to worry, but it did seem a bit over the top to sent so many men on a nation-wide manhunt, comparing them to the devil.

Maybe because deep down Minho knew that there was probably a reason for it all. A reason for unrest. He knew his father, he knew what king of king he was and to be honest, he wasn’t really surprised that some commoners were getting fed up with him.

Plus, if this whole rebellious group had been so dangerous, why had they waited until now to do something about it? And how come Minho was never informed about it if he could get hurt?

It just didn’t add up but he said nothing about it. 

‘’Minho, I promise I’ll tell you everything after I return okay?,’’ Chan spoke, pulling Minho out of his thoughts ,’’So stop frowning and help me pack will you?,’’

Minho perked up after hearing that and he pushed himself off the wall with his hip. As stupid as it sounded, Minho loved doing mundane things, loved the fact that Chan asked him too even though it was highly inappropriate to ask that of him.

‘’Yes sir!,’’ Minho beamed back, feeling a whole lot better as Chan let out a snort and shook his head before walking to the heavy chest in the corner of the room, opening it – the way the hinged creaked almost made Minho want to scream – and pulling out an old bag.

It got tossed into Minho’s hands and Chan started listing everything he needed to take with him. Minho happily flitted around the room, gathering everything the older needed and pushing it into the bag.

They worked in perfect harmony as they packed Chan’s stuff, Minho filling up the bag with all the necessary clothing while Chan made sure he got all his other equipment.

It was a couple of minutes later that they deemed everything packed, Chan going over everything at least three more times just to make sure before letting himself fall down on his bed and pulling Minho with him, which was a very uncharacteristic thing for him to do but Minho ignored it.

And Minho had to admit that, now that the task was done, he was going to miss the older. It was a stuffy feeling in his chest and he did not know what tot do with it. Sure, he had gone days without seeing him before, but that was different. This time Chan wasn’t going to be on castle grounds and, potentially, getting himself into dangerous waters. 

But he told himself he was being dramatic. He knew that Chan wasn’t really going to be doing anything other than helping out and that it wasn’t as if he would be involved in any full on confrontation with any possible dangerous individuals. Even if he was, Chan wasn’t an unskilled newbie, he hadn't been offered the apprenticeship for nothing. Chan was the best of the best so he could probably do more harm to others than anyone could do to him.

Still, Minho was nervous as his mind kept feeding him everything that could go wrong.

There was a knock on the door before it swung open, a footboy – his name unknown to Minho – standing in the doorway and telling Chan that it was time to go.

‘’Guess I’ll see you later then?,’’ Chan said as he patted Minho’s thigh before he heaved himself up from the bed, swinging his heavy bag over his shoulder.

Minho didn’t miss the slight tremble in Chan’s voice and it was only then that Minho figured he wasn’t the only one who felt a bit unsettled. It dawned on him that his was the biggest thing Chan had ever done, a step up from his normal tasks and that the older was aware of this fact.

So without thinking much, Minho threw himself off the bed as well and stalked his way over to his best friend, almost knocking the older over as he pulled him in a tight hug. He could feel Chan tense for a second before he relaxed and wrapped his arms around Minho. It was nice. They rarely hugged, both of them feeling that it was an awkward thing to do, but Minho just _had_ to.

‘’What’s up with you?,’’ Chan chuckled, his head now resting on Minho’s shoulder.

Minho tightened his grip on the older as he felt that familiar sting in his eyes, ‘’Just… be careful okay?,’’

That made Chan pull back and punch Minho’s arm playfully ,’’I should be saying that to you. Who’s going to keep you from doing dumb stuff when I’m gone?,’’

Minho couldn’t help but snort at that. He knew that Chan kept him out of trouble more often than he’d like to admit, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be a functioning human without him.

They bickered all the way to the gates, only stopping when Chan got called to step in line.

It was then that Seungmin showed up out of nowhere, looking as worried as Minho felt. The scholar had gone off about everything that Chan should and shouldn’t do, hoping to install some useful information into Chan’s head.

With a few quick hugs and a little wave, Chan stepped away from Minho’s side to get to his place behind the guards.

A command got yelled and off they were, leaving Minho and Seungmin to stare at their friend’s back until it was no longer visible. 

Deep down, Minho felt like things were going to change, like something had been set in motion, something big.

 

And he wasn’t sure if he liked it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... helloooo…
> 
> So, how's everyone been doing?? It's been quite some time and I do feel a bit bad about it xD  
> I was just... I had no inspiration or sometimes just in these little bursts so it took forever to get this chapter written.
> 
> But I feel quite good about it because I finally reached the point where my initial plot gets set into motion so that's exciting :D
> 
> I read some things I've already written for this story and I so happened to come across a specific scene I wrote about a month or two ago and oh boi, I'm already hearing your tears (If anyone is still around when that's going to happen). 
> 
> PS fun fact, the summary is made up from the first thing I wrote for this story, which is probably something that's going to be near the end of the story xD by the way, I wanted to know if the summary for this is intriguing enough? Should I change it? Please let me know your thoughts about it / the story in the comments!


	7. Innocence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry...  
> And I started a Minsung oneshot series? Just had too many ideas that would not cut it for full-blown stories so that happened? There's only one story so far but the next one will be up sometime this week, depending on when I finish, so check it out? 
> 
> But for now, enjoy this chapter ^^

Felix still wasn’t back and Jisung was starting to get really, really bored. He had never thought that he would miss his best friend that much and he often joked that the younger was more annoying than anything else, but who was he kidding? He actually felt lonely without Felix stuck to him.

So when he ran into Jeongin on his way too the market, he struck up a conversation. He didn’t really interact much with the boy – not much past small conversation - and he wondered why that was. The kid radiated happiness, his smiles bright enough to light up anyone’s day, and was incredibly fun to be around.

after a short conversation about, basically, nothing, Jeongin had decided to tag along and even helped Jisung out, spreading his knowledge off how to get the best products for the cheapest price. Typical son of farmers.

‘’- so if it smells a bit like vinegar, it is rotten?,’’ Jisung rephrased as he eyed the apple in his left hand before looking back to the younger. 

‘’And the more it smells like an apple, the riper it is?,’’ He stated as he held up the apple in his right hand. It wasn't as if Jisung didn't know that, but not really. He mostly just picked the reddest ones he could find and just accepted that, sometimes, there were a few rotten ones. His dad never complained and said that it was inevitable.

Jeongin let out a approving hum and snatched the ripe apple out of Jisung’s right hand, taking a bite out of it as he tossed the woman a copper coin.

‘’Hey!,’’ Jisung yelled, giving the younger a light push, ‘’I was going to buy that!,’’

‘’Too late. It’s mine now,’’

Jisung laughed as Jeongin smiled again. He hadn’t thought that the younger was that bold. He seemed so shy all the time but that was far from the truth and Jisung had to admit that it made him like the boy even more.

He was a bit foxy and it intrigued Jisung.

They laughed some more as they resumed to the task, slowly filling up Jisung’s sack with the best apples in the batch. He had to give the younger credit. He surely knew what he was doing, even succeeding in getting the woman to cut down on the price a bit, and Jisung had a new found respect for the boy.

‘’So, where is Felix? I haven’t seen him yesterday,’’ Jeongin asked as they walked back to Jisung’s house.

‘’He’s out till tomorrow. His mom dragged him along to Olann,’’ Jisung replied.

Jeongin nodded and they fell silent.

It wasn’t as awkward as Jisung had expected. Sure, it wasn’t as if Jeongin was an absolute stranger, heck, he used to tag along to play hide and seek when they were little, but it was the first time Jisung actually spent some time with the younger alone.

It was nice but Jisung also felt a bit guilty he hadn’t approached Jeongin before. He knew that the kid had no friends in the village and that suddenly hit him hard. 

And when Jeongin was ready to say bye after they had reached Jisung’s house, he had made up his mind.

‘’Hey!,’’ Jisung yelled as the younger turned away from him.

Jeongin turned back around as fast at lightning and tilted his head to the side.

‘’I am going to practise shooting in the forest and wondered if you maybe would like to come with me?,’’

Jisung saw the younger’s eyes widen in surprise. He had probably not expected Jisung’s invitation and it showed.

‘’Wait? Really?,’’ He asked.

‘’Really,’’ Jisung smiled, ‘’So you joining or not?,’’

Jeongin’s eyes narrowed and Jisung did catch that playful glint.

‘’Only if you teach me. Otherwise you’re on your own,’’

‘’Deal,’’

And Jisung almost cried when he saw the boy beam back at him. He had never seen the younger look so happy and it made Jisung’s heart swell in adoration and sympathy. Jeongin was a good kid and it was a shame it had taken him so long to approach the kid. And only because Felix wasn't around. Jisung felt like an asshole.

‘’So, let’s get going? I don’t have the whole day you know? I’m from a farmers family and unlike you, I don’t have all day to play around,’’ Jeongin followed up as he pushed past Jisung and invited himself in.

Jisung followed quickly and ditched the apples in the kitchen before he grabbed his bow and arrows from the corner of the room.

‘’My apologies good sir,'' Jisung spoke as he hung his satchel over his shoulder, ''It’s very kind of you to grace me with your presence so I’ll hurry up and do my best not to take up too much of your precious time,’’

Jeongin absolutely lost it at that and doubled over.

Yeah, Jeongin was a nice kid and Jisung loved him already. 

 

* 

 

Minho could feel it now that he was slightly aware of what was going on.

He suddenly noticed how tense the air was, how it seemed like everyone was waiting for _something_ to happen. Minho couldn’t really put his finger on it but it was now clear as day.

His father was seen less as he was having meetings with his counsel more often than not and when Minho did see him – only at dinner – the man was snappy, impatient and grumpy. 

Talks about Minho’s arranged marriage had come to a stop completely and he didn’t know whether to be happy about it or not. It had been stresses so much before and his parents were so adamant about it and no matter what was going on, it was prioritised. That wasn’t the case anymore so it meant that something really serious was going on. Something Minho hadn't been made aware off.

People gossiped, from simple stable boys to the old and trusted maids and everyone in between. However, Minho never got to hear them directly and it made him all the more curious about what people thought was going on.

So he decided to seek out Seungmin as he was sure the younger would have caught wind of at least a part of what people had been saying. Plus he was the only remaining friend in the castle now that Chan was gone. It had been just a day but Minho was not happy that there had been no word from the older yet. Minho was anxious but he forced himself to assume that he would be informed if something would happen to his friend. His father didn’t particularly like them being _friends_ – which was stupid because it had been the king that appointed Chan his position and thereby being the one that choose who was going to be responsible for the royal guard when Minho followed his footsteps - but Minho refused to think that the man would be so cruel to not let him know.

Minho came to a halt in front of the study, not knowing if he’d find Seungmin alone or with the elders. After all, the younger was not yet in a position to have his own study and Minho would prefer to avoid his fathers scholars. They always seemed to see right through him and were way too loyal to his father, meaning that they would rat him out in an instant if they found out that he had been trying to pry away information - he wasn’t supposed to have knowledge of - from Seungmin.

But then again, the scholars were probably just as tied up in whatever was going on as everyone in his father’s circle.

So Minho knocked before opening the door, sucking in a breath as he hoped he’d find Seungmin.

The room was dimly lit, just a few candles around the room lighting the place. It was silent and he didn’t see anyone in the room. Minho let out a breath of relieve and stepped into inside before closing the door behind him. 

‘’Seungmin?,’’ He whispered loudly as he walked through the room.

There was no answer so he tried again as he walked to the big archive that was connected to the study. If Seungmin was indeed around, Minho knew exactly where to find him. So he weaved through the endless shelves to a particular corner in the back and indeed, Seungmin was there, standing next to a shelve with a book in his hand and a lantern hanging off a little hook that had been hammered in the dense wood of the shelves.

‘’Seungmin,’’

The younger noticed his presence and looked up from the book, one brow shooting up in question. Minho caught a glance of what book his friend was reading and it didn’t surprise him. Seungmin had been obsessed with the royal family and its history ever since he was little and his vast knowledge and interest had landed him in this exact position at court at such a young age. So Minho could always find him hidden away between stacks and stacks of documents about his very own family. Maybe a bit creepy how his friend knew more about his family than Minho himself, but that's just how it was.

‘’Minho? What are you doing here? It’s way past midnight,’’

Minho grinned, ‘’I could ask you the same,’’

Even in the dim light, Minho could see Seungmin roll his eyes before he put away the book and grabbed the lantern off the hook.

‘’Seriously, Minho. What are you doing here? What do you want?,’’ The younger sighed as Minho followed him out of the archive.

Seungmin set down the lantern on one of the desks and turned back to lock the door to the archive, pocketing the key before looking back at Minho.

‘’Wow, what’s up with you? Had a rough day?,’’ He teased.

‘’Yes. So what do you want?,’’ The younger hissed back, throwing Minho off.

Sure, the younger was snarky in general but Minho knew it all came from a good place. He knew that Seungmin appreciated him as a friend just as Minho did. He barely saw Seungmin genuinely upset about anything so he knew something was off.

He took a step towards the younger and landed a hand on his shoulder, feeling just how tense Seungmin was. Now that he was a bit closer he could see the shadows under his friends eyes and those were definitely _not_ casted by the candle light.

‘’Hey, what’s going on? I can tell you’re not yourself,’’ 

Seungmin let out a sigh and shrugged Minho’s hand off his shoulder, putting his hands on his hips and letting his head hang. It was silent for a few seconds before the younger looked up again ,’’I’m not supposed to tell you,’’

That only made Minho want to know even more. 

‘’Seungmin. Let’s just forget about the ‘rules’ for a bit and tell me what has gotten you so worked up okay? Letting things off your chest isn’t going to hurt anybody. I’ll keep my lips sealed,’’ Minho assured, hoping it would prompt his friend to tell him what was going on. The gossip could wait. He valued his friend's wellbeing more.

Seungmin seemed to think for a bit before Minho saw something change in the younger’s eyes. It was subtle but Minho caught it. It was a certain fire and Minho already knew his friend had made up his mind.

‘’I... get told to do all there random things. Weird things that make no sense at all and no one explains to me why. They tell me to research the history of your family over and over again and write reports about anything that seems off but for what purpose? I don’t get it and it is frustrating,’’

To Minho it sounded oddly like Seungmin’s normal job prescription and he was genuinely confused about his friend’s distress about it. 

‘’But that’s basically what you normally do? What makes it so different?,’’

Seungmin huffed in response and sat down behind a desk, Minho quickly following him and pulling out a chair to sit opposite of him.

‘’It’s just the whole secrecy about it. They tell me that no one may know and I have to give my reports to the king himself and you know that normally I hand in reports to my Highers. I get asked to dig up any information about the king’s late brother and it’s weird because there is nothing about him in the official archives, meaning I have to go to the king’s private one almost every day and keep hush hush about it and I don’t get what’s going on. The whole situation feels off and I can't seem to figure out what it is,’’

Seungmin let his head fall in his hands.

‘’That does seem a bit odd,’’ Minho mumbled, ‘’Did you try-,’’

Minho cut himself off as it suddenly felt like he had been hit by lightning. Seungmin’s head shot up and panic flashed in his eyes, telling Minho he had said something he wasn’t supposed to.

‘’Minho, I-,’’

‘’M-my father had a brother?,’’ Minho stuttered out, feeling absolutely baffled.

He had never heard of this. He had never been told that he had an uncle. Why had no one ever told him that? Why had he never come across this whenever he studied on his own? He had read just about everything in the archives and not even _once_ was any of this mentioned. Moreover, all the documents stated that his father had been the only child. 

‘’You weren’t supposed to know! I messed up big time!,’’ Seungmin yelled.

‘’Why? What’s going on?,’’ Minho replied, feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment.

‘’I don’t know. I don’t know why you weren’t supposed to know! I don’t get it either but they told me not to think about it and just keep my mouth shut when I found out,’’ Seungmin rambled.

Minho’s mind was going a million miles an hour. He could not understand why he didn’t know. And what was even worse was that it wasn’t so much about not telling him, but more about keeping it a secret. That was a whole other level of keeping him in the dark.

And it made him wonder what else he didn’t know. Sure, there were a lot of things he didn’t know and most of those things he really _didn’t_ need to know but what else were the people keeping from him? For all he knew, there were so much more bigger things he wasn’t in the loop off.

The most ridiculous things filled Minho’s head, wondering if he had been lied to about much more important matters.

What if his father had more family? What if Minho had cousins? What if his mother also turned out to not be an only child? What if his mother had actually been someone from a lower class instead of the daughter of a noble family? 

‘’Minho?,''

What if they weren’t even his parents? What if Chan knew what was going on with those supposed rebels and just didn’t tell him? What if there actually weren’t any rebels? What if they were on the brink of war with another country and no one knew?

‘’Minho!,’’

That snapped him out of his thoughts and he looked back at Seungmin, concern written all over the younger’s face.

‘’I’ve got to go,’’ Minho replied softly, ‘’I’m tired,’’

He didn’t wait for Seungmin to answer him as he shot up from his chair and stalked over towards the door.

‘’Minho, please sit back down and-,’’

‘’Good night,’’

And with that, Minho pushed open the door and let it slam behind him.

 

*

 

‘’Relax Jeongin,’’ Jisung said for the umpteenth time as he guided the boy’s arm down by an inch, ‘’Don’t stress about doing it well right away,’’

Jeongin nodded and pulled the string back a bit more and Jisung stepped to the side, expecting the younger to finally let the string slip from his fingers to shoot the arrow. However, Jeongin let out a sigh before letting down the bow and plopping down on the grass, arrow still between his fingers.

‘’I can’t do this,’’ He huffed.

Jisung smiled and sat down next to boy, taking the bow and arrow from his hands and placing them next to him in the grass.

‘’Yes you can. You just need to stop thinking so much,’’ He said as he took Jeongin’s hands in his.

Jeongin looked at him and let out another irritated huff, ‘’Easy for you to say. You are actually good at this and I just keep missing that damn tree. I swear it has it out for me,’’

‘’Listen. I have worked my ass off to get better. It’s not something you can perfect within an hour or so. It took me more than a week, trying over and over again for hours a day to actually get the arrow where I want it to go. It’s not magic or talent. It is practise,’’

Jeongin deflated an let out a hum, indicating he had heard Jisung.

‘’So, you want to try again or call it quits for today?,’’ Jisung followed up.

He knew Jeongin was tired. They had been at it for at least a couple of hours and he could see the boy was struggling to keep his eyes open, even if it was only afternoon.

‘’Yeah. I still got to round up those dumb goats,’’ The younger grunted.

‘’You know what? I’ll help you out if you’d like? Or at least try to? I’m pretty sure I’d be useless but I can keep you company. If you want that of course. I totally understand-,’’

Jeongin perked up at that, some kind of new found energy in the boy as he sprung up and did some weird hopping-dance before squatting back down in front of Jisung and grabbing his sleeve with two hands.

‘’Yes please! Thank God! Do you have any idea how stubborn goats are? They are the worst,’’

Jisung grinned as the boy rambled on about goats. He figured he didn’t really like the animals and it was funny how he let out his frustration, his face heating up and all…

Really cute.

Jeongin reminded Jisung of Felix, but than a more impulsive version. Jisung could almost say that Jeongin was a mix between himself and his best friend, making it feel like Jeongin was almost a younger brother. It was weird how quickly Jisung had grown attached to the boy in such a short time. Jisung barely got along with others, mostly due to the fact that he had never fit in himself much like Jeongin.

It was when Jeongin had started a speech about why the oldest cow they owned was the best one that Jisung decided to cut the boy off.

‘’As much as I’d love to hear about Sandra, I think the goats are waiting for our arrival to escort them back, don’t you think?,’’

Jeongin stopped immediately and stared at Jisung with big eyes.

‘’Lord have mercy! My parents are going to be so angry if I don’t get those damn animals inside before dark!,’’ Jeongin screeched, standing back up and pulling Jisung to his feet.

Jisung hurriedly picked his stuff from the ground as the younger had already stalked away in a hurry, shouting over his shoulder for him to hurry up as he franticly waves his arms around.

Jisung snickered and took one final glance around him to see if he had everything before taking a little sprint to catch up with the boy.

Jisung knew that today marked the day that he had managed to find another friend and there was nothing that could happen to bring down his mood.

 

Except for goats.

Jeongin was right. Those animals were a spawn of Satan and just didn’t listen. Jisung was pretty sure he hated goats now too.

‘’The other side Jisung! Mister fluffles is escaping!,’’ Jeongin screamed, pointing to the biggest goat on other side of the sea of furry animals.

Jisung’s back was hurting and he was sweaty, making his hair stick to his forehead and he realised he wasn’t cut out for this work.

Jeongin however seemed completely fine, albeit a fit frustrated as well but generally he was doing okay. 

It took them way too long to actually get the goats into the shed but when they did, a sense of accomplishment washed over them. The fact that they made it before sundown was even a more impressive feat.

‘’You did pretty well, you know? Not that anyone ever tries but still,’’ Jeongin laughed as he guided Jisung away from the shed and around the back of his house to a pond, laying down and patting the grass next to him.

Jisung snorted as he lay down next to the younger. He was pretty sure he had sucked and caused more inconvenience than that he actually helped out, ‘’I can’t really tell if you’re being sarcastic right now or not, but I’ll take the compliment anyways,’’

It was when the sun started to set that Jeongin spoke up again.

‘’You seen Taeho around lately?,’’ Jeongin timidly asked as he rolled to his side to look at Jisung.

Jisung frowned because, now that he thought of it, he hadn’t seen Taeho around at all the last couple of days. That rarely happened.

‘’No, not at all actually,’’

‘’Good. He’s scary,’’ Jeongin replied, ‘’I think it’s really cool how you talk to him though, like, that time in the alley,''

Jisung just hummed, not really knowing what to say to the younger. He wasn’t all that brave or cool but he tried to be and most of the time it was just temper flaring up.

‘’I know he bullies you too but I got your back ‘kay? Next time he says mean things to you I’ll try to say mean things back,’’ Jeongin suddenly announced as he sat back up.

Oh, if things were that simple, Jisung would barely be bothered by it.

Jisung forced a smile but inside he didn’t feel so good. Jeongin didn’t even know half of what was going on and it just showed how naïve he was. Not that it was a bad thing but Jisung was afraid for the boy. He just felt too innocent for this world and at some point, that innocence would get taken from him, no matter if he wanted it to or not.

But not if it was up to Jisung. 

And he swore to himself – right then and there as Jeongin smiled at him – that he’d do anything in his power to make sure that the younger never had to face anything bad in the world, no matter how impossible that was. 

 

*

 

It was when Minho was finally back in his room and behind his desk, finishing that drawing of a butterfly he had started a few days back, that his thoughts slowed down. He forced himself to focus on the black lines on the paper but it was difficult.

He went from knowing nothing to finding out that he used to have an uncle and by now, Minho had puzzled together that the painting he had come across when he was little had been of his parents with his uncle and aunt. 

And now it somewhat made sense that the painting had disappeared when he had asked about it, but then again, it really didn’t.

What was it that made it such a taboo for Minho to know about? He didn’t get it and even though he was tempted to confront his father about it, he knew that it would only make things more difficult for him. He was better off if he tried to find out things on his own, no matter how difficult that would be.

So as he put away his drawing and blew out the little candle on his desk, he decided that he would try to find out tomorrow. Keyword being 'try'.

It took Minho for ever to fall asleep after he had settled underneath his blankets. So many things had been going on – none of them adding up – and it weirded him out.

He let his hand wander to his neck and he traced his fingers along the little pendant that rested in between his collar bones. He couldn’t help but see the incident with the man and the cart being the start of everything. Chan leaving, his father telling him about the rebels, family secrets getting exposed...

Minho didn’t believe in things such as God or fate but things had started changing after he had met the man.

It was when Minho could see the sun peeking out from the horizon and the birds outside chirping that he could feel his eyelids droop.

No matter what, he was going to find out what forced were at play, what strings were being pulled that caused his uneventful life to take such a turn.

 

No matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well well well well well,  
> Look who is here after, like, forever?
> 
> So I was majorly stuck but what else is new? (Plus, I was on holiday) This chapter had to function as a bridge between the previous one and the one coming up so nothing really big was going to happen and that made it difficult to write.
> 
> But hey, I managed! Legit just wrote like crazy, the words almost wrote themselves ^^ 
> 
> ANyho's… THings are slowly coming to light and so many twists are coming up (you guys have no clue about them at all xD) so I'm exited.
> 
> Let me know what you think of the story in the comments below :)


	8. Farewell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suggest to settle in before you start reading.  
> Popcorn? Something to drink? Possibly tissues?
> 
> :]

It was the next morning when Minho woke up to someone poking his head. He did not have to open his eyes to know that it was Seungmin because the older always found the most obnoxious ways to wake him up.

‘’Knock it off you pest,’’ Minho growled.

He hated mornings with a passion.

‘’Get your lazy ass up!,’’ Seungmin hissed, ‘’The king wants you present in the throne room,’’

Minho rushed himself up and out of bed, almost tripping over his own feet as he did so. His father requesting him to be present for something official meant that he was probably going to get some information, something that could bring him a step closer to finding out what the hell was going on.

Seungmin let out a sigh as Minho flailed about the room to get himself dressed. Not even a minute later, they were walking down the halls and towards the throne room. They passed some servants, who bowed in his passing but Minho could not bring himself to respond as his brain was going a million miles a second. 

It was not like it was required or fitting for someone of his status but Minho liked to greet every person he came across, no matter if his father called them _'lowlifes'_ or _'filthy peasants'_. It enraged him whenever he heard those words leave his father’s lips and he did everything in his power to let everyone working in the castle know that he appreciated their hard work. They were human, made out of the same as him and deserved basic respect.

Before he knew it, he and Seungmin had reached the throne, big doors being pushed open for Minho and Seungmin to enter.

Much like the previous time, the room was filled with the men of king’s counsel, advisors and scholars. However, this time Minho also spotted some higher-ranked men of the Royal Guard. It piqued his interest but then he thought of Chan and his insides twisted painfully, suddenly afraid that he had been called to attend to inform him of his friend’s untimely death, along with many other guards.

‘’My son,’’ his father spoke loudly, voice bouncing off the high walls in the room, ‘’Come forward and join me,’’

Minho crossed the room, very on edge as he could feel at east two dozen pair of eyes boring holes into his skull. He tried to keep his head up as he walked up a few steps to stand next to his father’s throne, the man ignoring him as soon as Minho turned his body and faced the men in the room. 

His eyes flitted over to Seungmin who had taken place behind the older scholars. He seemed as on edge as Minho felt and it dawned on him that Seungmin didn’t know a lot either, much like the younger had told him last night.

‘’Now that we are all present, I’d like to announce some great news,’’ The king bellowed.

Minho had to try his best not to wince at the loud sound piercing his ears. To be honest, he _hated_ when his father raised his volume like that. It reminded him too much of all the times he had yelled at him.

‘’We received word from the Royal Guard,’’

With that piece of information, Minho perked up and immediately shot his head towards Seungmin. They made eye-contact and he could see the faint flicker of fear in Seungmin’s eyes, even from the great distance from each other.

‘’The rebels have been located and it has been confirmed that they keep themselves holed up in a little village in the east. The Royal Guard will move forward today and if everything goes well, the threat will have been eliminated by tonight,’’

Everyone clapped and it was deafening, making Minho grind his teeth in an attempt to keep down the simmering irritation. He did not get why people’s death was a reason to celebrate in such an obnoxious way. People were people and death was _never_ a thing to celebrate. It was sadistic, in a certain way.

Like he had said, he hated mornings and now that he was here, he wanted nothing else but get out.

So Minho zoned out as his father droned on and on about the supposed _‘rebels’_ and how he was going to make sure the kingdom remained united and strong. All Minho could think about was what Chan’s involvement was going to be and if he was going to come back unharmed. 

Then he suddenly wondered how much of his father was saying and preaching was actually the truth, especially since Seungmin's slip-up last night. Minho couldn’t let go how everything seemed weird and unusual. It was as if it was all one big play Minho hadn’t gotten the script of.

‘’You can go now,’’ His father suddenly hissed in a hushed voice.

Minho snapped out of his thoughts and looked back down to his father. The man’s eyes were set in annoyance and Minho realised that he was probably just here to keep up appearances. His father was manipulative like that and did everything in his power to make it look like he was a great man - not just a egocentric king but one with a clear passion for the kingdom and it’s people. So that’s why Minho had been called to attend, fooling all the men present into thinking that his father was actually making an effort to raise Minho to be a king worthy of the throne.

Which was far from the truth but Minho didn’t really care that much. Ever since he was little he had been told that one day he would be king and rule the kingdom, a beautiful wife of noble decent next to him, but he had denied that very real future from the start.

He did not want to become king, nor did he wish for the responsibility or wealth. And he most certainly did _not_ want to get married to some shallow rich woman who was only in it for the jewels and the power to boss those of lower status around to make themselves feel better about their pathetic life.

Harsh, but true for the most part.

His parents knew his stance on the whole thing and they weren’t happy with it. It took Minho a couple of hits to the face to realise that it was wise to keep his dissatisfaction to himself, leading into a false sense of relieve as Minho barely up the subject anymore, ignoring it as much as he could.

Then Minho remembered that he had to get to the private archives if he wanted to get closer to finding out the truth and now was the perfect opportunity. All the official’s rooms would be empty, maybe an assistant or apprentice here or there but Minho could get around those easily. It did require him to abuse the class system a bit and even though it made him feel sorry and horrible to order people around using his title as prince, he saw no other way than to do it.

So Minho bowed to his father before making his way out of the room, letting out a heavy sigh as the doors closed behind him.

He would never get used to this.

 

*

 

Jisung was running. He was running like his life depended on it. He had already bumped into three people but their displeased remarks could do nothing to bring his excitement down.

He passed the market without any kind of incident and that was a miracle. Jeongin had called out to him when Jisung passed him – the boy struggling to carry a very dead-looking sheep to the butcher, which made Jisung do a double take to make sure he had seen it right – and even though he did not have time to chit-chat with his new friend, he had taken the time to apologize as he rushed by and out of the market.

He ran and ran and before he knew it, the house came into view. From the distance, Jisung could see figures unloading stuff from an old wagon. He could feel himself smiling and he slowed down to a comfortable jog. It was when he was just a few meters away that he got noticed.

‘’Sungie!,’’

Felix’s face lit up and he dropped everything he was holding and sprinted, almost knocking both of them over as the freckled boy threw himself at Jisung. Jisung giggled and held his best friend a bit tighter. God had he missed Felix. It was insane, really. Felix had only been gone for two days and it made him realise how much the boy meant to him. To be honest, coming to that epiphany scared him but he could set that aside for now.

‘’I really fucking missed you,’’ Felix screamed in Jisung’s ear, making him flinch away.

Okay, maybe he hadn’t missed him _that_ much…

They pulled away after a minute or so and Jisung was wrapped in another hug by Mrs. Lee, which was a bit unexpected but Jisung let himself melt into the woman’s embrace. 

‘’How are you doing Jisung?,’’ the woman asked, her voice gentle and sweet.

The whole situation left him a bit baffled to be honest, but he welcomed it anyways, ‘’I’m doing fine, thanks for asking,’’

The woman let out a soft hum and patted his back before letting him go and straightening out his blouse, much like a typical mother would do, ‘’Our Jisungie is becoming more handsome by the day,’’

For some reason, the words and the fond smile on the woman’s lips made Jisung’s eyes sting a bit and he suddenly realised how nice it would be to be able to call the woman his mother. She was always so gentle and caring, especially towards Jisung and his dad and he got why his dad always looked so happy whenever he was around the woman.   
So Jisung got why Felix was always so outspoken about the two marrying and he was overwhelmed by how much he suddenly wanted that. Not just for his dad but for himself too.

Felix swung his arm around Jisung’s shoulder, practically hanging off of him, ‘’Mom! I’m here too you know? Give me compliments too!,’’

Mrs. Lee rolled her eyes and Jisung had to suppress a laugh, knowing it would only make his best friend more sulky if he didn’t.

''You are very handsome too son,''

Then they chit-chatted for a few minutes before Mrs. Lee turned to unload the rest of their baggage, the woman showing no sign of struggling with the heavy baggage at all. Still, Jisung had some basic manners at least and could not just stand there watching as the woman unloaded everything by herself.

‘’Let me help,’’ Jisung said as he moved towards the wagon, already reaching out for the wooden chest.

Mrs. Lee shook her head frantically, ‘’O no, please get my Felix out of here! He wouldn’t stop complaining about not being able to spent time with you so by all means, please take him off my hands Jisung,’’ 

Jisung didn’t even have time to respond before Felix took a hold of his arm and started dragging him away. He did manage to wave at the woman before they rounded the corner and into the busy streets.

‘’So,’’ Felix spoke up as they walked, arm slung around Jisung’s shoulders, ‘’What have you been up to?,’’

‘’Nothing much. I helped dad out in the shop, practised and hung out with Jeongin,’’ Jisung replied.

‘’Jeongin? The farmer’s son?,’’

‘’Yup. We just bumped into each other yesterday and spent the rest of the day together,’’

Felix hummed, indicating he had heard Jisung but wasn’t really curious to know more. The arm around Jisung’s shoulders tightened and when he looked over to see his best friend’s face, his brows were set in a little frown, pout included.

Jisung wondered what it was that caused the change of mood in his best friend. But then he had the sudden epiphany that maybe, Felix was a bit upset because Jisung had found someone to hang out with whenever Felix hadn't been around.

‘’Wait… are you jealous?,’’ Jisung grinned.

Felix let out a huff and blew a piece of hair out of his face, ‘’No,’’

Jisung laughed and turned to poke him in the ribs, making the latter squirm a bit.

‘’Are you sure?,’’

‘’I’m sure. Why would I be jealous? You’re my best friend after all. I do not feel threatened or something,’’

However, Jisung really didn’t believe Felix’s act. The latter was being way too whiny for that and by the way, Felix was one hell of a bad liar. It was almost impossible _not_ to see right through him. So being the good fried that Jisung was, he decided to add some fuel to the fire.

‘’I never knew that Jeongin was so adorable. He’s really cute and funny and really nice to hang out with,’’ 

Felix now practically growled and came to a stop, almost sending Jisung backwards because of the arm around him, ‘’Okay. I’m jealous. You happy?!,’’

He looked like a kicked puppy and Jisung didn’t really know whether to laugh or to feel sorry for fishing for that response. 

‘’Lix, you have been my best friend for years. I’m not suddenly going to ditch you or something,’’

Felix nodded but Jisung could see he was still a bit apprehensive, eyes a bit too watery to be normal, and to be honest, Jisung had not expected Felix to actually get upset. And that made him feel a little bit panicky.

‘’Felix, I’m serious,’’ Jisung said as he pulled his friend in for a hug, ‘’You’ll always be my best friend no matter what happens,’’

The freckled boy did not respond, not even his arms lifting to hug Jisung back and that’s when he really started freaking out. This was not right. They joked around all the time but it never resulted in a fight or… this. 

Jisung could feel his eyes starting to water and it turned his vision a bit blurry.

‘’Lix? Say something,’’

This was not good.

He pulled back and was met by an enormous grin on Felix’s face, making his eyes almost disappear.

‘’Got you there,’’ Felix whispered.

All the tension left Jisung’s body and his legs suddenly felt like jello, threatening to give out under him. And even though it wasn’t really funny, the feeling of relieve was overwhelming and he soon found himself beaming back.

‘’Asshole,’’ Jisung said as he landed a punch on Felix’s arm, making the latter wince but laugh harder.

‘’Love you too. Now, come on. I wanna hang out with Jeongin too,’’ The freckled boy yelled as he stalked off towards the farm, leaving Jisung on his own, wondering _when_ Felix had turned in such a good actor.

 

*

 

Minho had deemed it impossible to get to the archives unnoticed. There were way too many guards around his father’s personal study and there was no way in hell that he would be able to get in without anyone finding out and reporting back to his father. 

So he did the next best thing and headed off to the kitchens.

Why?

He wanted cookies.

As soon as he walked down the servants’ stairs at the end of the hallway, the smell of sugar and flour filled his nose and he just knew that he had come at the right time. Minho weaved through the hall once he had reached the first floor and didn’t hesitate to waltz into the kitchen.

And indeed, Mrs. Im was standing there, kneading dough and big trays of cookies on the table in the middle of the room.

Minho didn’t need to make his presence known – Mrs. Im always seemed to know when he’d sneak into the kitchen – so he just walked over to take a cookie and he heaved himself up on the table.

It was then that Mrs. Im started humming some kind of song and Minho knew that she was doing that because he was here. The woman had a lovely voice and she used to sing for him when he was little whenever he was upset because it would help him feel better.

And that was one of the most incredible things about Mrs. Im. She didn’t even have to look at him or talk to him to know that something was bothering him.

She turned around and walked over to the big oven, taking a cloth before pulling out another tray, ‘’You want to talk about it sweetie?,’’

Minho stopped chewing for a second and contemplated if he wanted to say what was on his mind or not. He really wanted to get some things off his chest but then again, he didn’t want to bother the woman with his jumbled thoughts and worries.

‘’No, not really,’’

The woman hummed and then they stayed silent, Minho relishing in the comfort and the sounds of the woman bustling about. It was when he had gotten to his third cookie that she broke the silence.

''How come you haven’t sneaked out the last few days? I’m sure the person you meet is waiting for you,’’

Minho continued to chew and made sure to swallow the food in his mouth before answering the woman, ‘’As much as I would love too, the guards are keeping a close eye on me ever since the last time and I don’t want to get locked up in my room again and by the way, what makes you think I meet up with people outside the castle?,’’

The woman set down the tray and moved to shove a new one in the oven. Why she was baking so many cookies, Minho didn’t know. The woman always made too much food and he wondered why that was. 

‘’That’s a shame. You always return happier than how you left so I assumed you met someone who makes you smile like that,’’

‘’What? I just go out to draw?,’’ Minho replied.

‘’Minho,’’ Mrs. Im said as she turned to look at him, ‘’It wouldn’t be the first time for you to lie about that,’’

That was true. Minho had used that exact same excuse a couple of times before whenever Mrs. Lee asked what he was doing outside of the castle. But he swore he was just enjoying some free time out there.

’’I swear I just go out to relax and draw,’’

‘’Okay okay, I believe you. But if you do have someone, you know you have a fiancée right? I’m all for you finding your own happiness darling, but I do wish you’d try a bit harder. She is a very nice girl and it would be shame if you didn’t even try,’’

The woman was often brutally honest and he found it refreshing and even though it was sometimes hard to hear, Minho was grateful she talked so openly with him and expressed her thoughts even though she wasn’t supposed to. Not with their difference in status and the nature of their relationship.

‘’I know,’’ Minho sighed as he let himself slip of the table, ‘’It’s just… I don’t know. I just really don’t want to spent the rest of my life with someone I don’t even remotely like in that way. That’s such a cruel thing to ask of me, or anyone, for that matter,’’

‘’I know darling. I’m sorry it has to be this way,’’ The woman replied, voice soft and gentle as she walked over to him and ran her finger’s through Minho’s hair.

Minho let out a hum and kept chewing, not really knowing what to say to the older woman.

Somehow his heart felt only heavier than before and he came to the conclusion that coming here hadn’t helped in the slightest. But at least it was nice he had seen Mrs. Im again.

So when Minho said his goodbyes and left the kitchen, he found himself wandering back to his room and onto the balcony, staring off into the distance and hoping that one day things would indeed turn out okay.

 

*

 

‘’It’s really easy you know? Except for rainy days, then it’s a hell because then you have to wait again till the hay is all dry and that takes days! I once had to wait a whole two weeks because it just kept raining and that really sucked because Sandra wasn’t getting enough to eat and that was really sad.’’

‘’You talk so much. Oh my god…,’’ Felix mumbled, going unheard by Jeongin who just kept talking.

The three were currently lying in the forest, shoulders touching and their backs sweaty from practising. Jisung had to admit that Jeongin had improved greatly, to the point the bow didn’t sway from left to right in his hold anymore. To be honest, that made Jisung a little jealous because it had taken him at least three days of full-on practise and the younger had managed to accomplish that in a few hours, spread over two days.

But then again, Jeongin did way more physical labour than Jisung so he shouldn’t have been all that surprised. Jeongin was supposed to be stronger than him even though he was younger.

And Felix… Well Felix was just as bad as ever. He was probably just not cut out for the weapon.

‘’But luckily we still had enough to make sure she didn’t starve. However, it did mean that there was less for the other cows but we really had to prioritise Sandra because she was pregnant. Do you know how much pregnant cows eat? Let me tell you that it’s a lot,’’

During Jeongin’s speech about - once again - Sandra the cow, Jisung could see Felix’s face turn more tired and tired as the youngest boy went on. Jisung just laughed and that didn’t seem to make his best friend feel any better. It was when Jeongin had gone to a whole other topic that Jisung decided to help Felix out of his misery.

‘’Jeongin, I think we really have to get back now. It’s almost dinner time and I’m sure your parent are waiting for you,’’

The youngest stopped his speech immediately and sat back up, eyes going wide as he looked back at Jisung, ‘’You’re right! We got to go. Get your lazy asses up!,’’

Felix laughed at the sudden command but complied anyways and Jisung just knew that Felix was just as happy to have befriended Jeongin as Jisung had. Jisung had to admit that he had been a bit nervous when he had showed up at Jeongin’s place with Felix, but the two had hit it off almost immediately and he was happy that they seemed to like each other. It made everything so much better.

So after they had gotten up and dusted the grass from their clothes, they made their way out of the forest and into the village.

Felix had to go the same way so he'd walk with Jeongin. Jisung hugged them before telling them that he’d see them tomorrow, promising Jeongin that he’s let the boy use his bow and arrow again and that he’d give it one more shot to teach Felix.

He started the lonely walk back to his house, big smile on his face as he looked back on the day. Felix was back and it meant that he could hang out with his best friend again and to make it even better, Felix liked Jeongin as well.

Jisung was about to walk past the main square when he remembered that his dad had asked him to make sure he’d get some water on the way back home. He didn’t have a bucket or anything with him but he knew that there was one at the well, one that was there for everyone to use as long as they'd returned it as quickly as possible. To be fair, it had saved Jisung’s ass more often than not because half of the time he’d forget that he had gotten the request from his dad, meaning that he always forgot to take something with him to transport the water with.

 

It was when Jisung rounded the corner and got to the well located on the square that he heard the first scream.

 

He whipped his head around to where the sound had come from – much like everyone else around him - and scanned the square, the shops surrounding it and all the roads that led to this place, but he saw nothing.

However, time seemed to be frozen, everyone just sensing that something was going to turn everything upside down. Something big. Jisung held his breath and only the sound of birds chirping somewhere far away was heard.

Suddenly, the wind started picking up and with it came a faint… rumbling? It became louder and louder and Jisung straightened up as he recognized the sound to be steel or iron hitting stones.

There was another blood-curdling scream and that’s when the first horse came into sight, stomping it’s way into the square. The uniform of the rider informed Jisung that it was a Royal Guard but what they were doing here, Jisung didn’t understand.

However, there was a tension in the air that made him completely freeze. He couldn’t really explain it but he suddenly dreaded their arrival, especially with those previous screams echoing in his head.

More riders filled the area and suddenly there was mass panic. People started running in all directions, almost knocking Jisung over as they speeded past him. He heard a kid crying somewhere on his right and when Jisung looked over, he could feel the blood drain out of his face. 

There, on the ground, lay a woman face down and soaked in red, a boy around four years old standing next to her.

Another horrifying scream filled the air and Jisung jolted. It was then that he noticed the chaos around him. People were running and screaming, the sound of the hoofs of horses and yelling of guards filling the air.

Jisung didn’t know what was going on but he knew it wasn’t good. He could feel the adrenaline filling his veins as he saw a guard swinging a sword, bringing it down and Jisung looked away on instinct. 

There were more people screaming as guards on foot entered the square, slashing away at people who tried to run past them.

Jisung spun around in panic and observed what was going on but it only confused him more. It was as if his brain didn’t get the horror that was going on, people dropping like flies and red staining everything around them.

He had to go.

Jisung had to get away.

But then he remembered the little kid he had seen and as much as Jisung’s brain screamed at him to get out of here, he knew he had to get to the kid. So Jisung looked back at where the boy had been standing before but his view got obstructed by people, villagers and guards alike and he panicked even more. He sprinted forward without thinking much and he finally saw the boy.

He was almost there when it happened.

A guard stepped up to the kid from behind and Jisung could feel terror seep into his bones and he tried to speed up but it was as if his legs were made out of lead. 

The guard lifted his sword and without any sign of hesitation, brought it down.

Jisung screamed and the little boy crumpled to the ground, landing next to the woman. 

It was as if all the air had been sucked out of his lungs and left them burning. Jisung felt dizzy and clammy, the back of his neck damp and a wave of nausea crashed over him, making him stumble on his feet.

This was not good.

Something very wrong was going on.

‘’Jisung!,’’

A hand clamped itself around his wrist and Jisung reacted on instinct, closing his eyes and trying to rip his wrist out of the person’s grasp, screaming and scratching as he did so.

‘’Jisung, stop! It’s me!,’’

Jisung didn’t care. He was going to die if he stayed here.

The person let go of his wrist and took a hold of his arms instead, pushing them to his body and keeping him still.

‘’Focus, Jisung!,’’

And suddenly, Jisung recognized the voice. He stilled and opened his eyes. 

That was the first time in his life that he was happy to see Taeho.

‘’T-Taeho?,’’ Jisung stuttered out as he was heaving for air.

Taeho’s eyes were on fire but he seemed concerned. Jisung could see the olders’ eyes scanning his face before settling back on his.

‘’We got to go, now!,’’ Taeho yelled and without waiting for a response, he turned his back and started dragging Jisung towards a little road connected to the square. Jisung stumbled after him, Taeho going way too fast for him to keep up properly but his grip prevented Jisung from falling over.

‘’W-what’s going o-on?,’’ Jisung yelled at Taeho, hopefully audible over the screams of other people. 

Taeho didn’t respond and Jisung noticed how tense the older was, the grip on Jisung’s arm turning painful as they sped up.

A man came crashing into them and Jisung let out a yelp as he tripped over the man’s legs. Taeho spun around and caught him just in time, preventing him from falling on top of the bloodied and lifeless body of the man.

He helped Jisung settle back on his feet before holding his hand and continuing their way to the little road. 

Jisung knew he was crying but at the same time he didn’t. His mind was hazy and he saw blood everywhere he looked. 

But Taeho was here so he wasn’t alone. 

Jisung adjusted his hand and intertwined their fingers, gripping onto Taeho as hard as he could. 

They ran and ran, evading guards and dead bodies alike as they made it out of the square and onto the road. They didn’t come to a stop until they were right in front of the door of Jisung’s house, both panting and sweating as they did so.

Taeho threw open the door and hurried them in before closing it behind them with a loud bang. Jisung dashed around the house in hopes of finding his dad and he found the man in his room, Jisung’s bag in hand and clothes scattered around.

‘’D-dad, what’s going on?,’’ 

His dad spun around and dropped the bag before stalking over towards him and Taeho, ‘’Jisung! Oh my god,’’

He was engulfed in a bone-crushing hug and just when he wanted to hug his dad back, the man pulled away and picked up the bag again.

‘’What are you doing?,’’

‘’I’m packing your stuff,’’ His dad replied, rumbling through the bag to see if everything was there, ‘’Make sure you get your bow and arrow,’’

Taeho stepped out of the room and disappeared, Jisung suddenly scared that the older had run off and left him alone. Not that he could blame the other – he had family too – but Jisung didn’t like how it felt like he was on his own now.

‘’Why? Why is the Royal Guard here?,’’

‘’There’s no time for me to explain. You have to go, now!,’’

His dad pushed him out of his room and dashed to the living room. Jisung followed him with hurried steps and he saw Taeho there, his bow and arrow in the older’s hands. However, the little relieve that Jisung got from knowing that the older was still here did nothing to calm down his heart.

‘’Wear your cape,’’ His dad commanded and said cape got thrown into his hands.

Jisung’s mind was spinning with confusion and panic and he wanted answers. No, he _needed_ answers, but he listened to his dad anyways and hung his cape around him. As soon as he had buckled it, his dad hung the bag over his shoulder and motioned for Taeho to hand Jisung his bow and arrow.

If Jisung didn’t know any better, he was going on a fun trip.

With shaking fingers, he took the bow and arrow from Taeho and hung the satchel and bow over his shoulder as well, adjusting the strap of his bag to make it less uncomfortable to have all his stuff on his back. Then his dad looked at him and gave a hum before walking to the door.

‘’I made sure you have enough money and food for at least two days,’’ His dad said as he turned to face Jisung, ‘’Make sure you _never_ go to the capital, Teyrnon, and avoid the Royal Guard at all costs,’’

Jisung didn’t understand why, ‘’Wait! Where are we going?,’’

‘’ _You_ are going to make sure you get to Callao as soon as possible. I have an acquaintance there that will help. His name is Seo Kyunhoon. There is a letter in the little pocket in your bag. Just give that to him and tell him that you’re my son, he will know what to do,’’

Just when Jisung was going to ask his dad what he meant by all of that, the sound of men rushing up to the house was heard and his dad spun around, fear evident on his face.

‘’Taeho, I’m sorry to burden you with this but please go to the back door and get him out of here. I would ask you to stay with him but you have your own family too so I can’t. However, please make sure Jisung gets out of the village and far away from here,’’

Taeho nodded and was suddenly next to Jisung, hands already on his shoulders to steer him to the back of the house. 

‘’Wait, dad, I’m not leaving without you! And what about Felix?!,’’

They were startled by a heavy blow to the door and his father rushed his body against it, leaning into the wood with all his weight. There was more banging and Jisung wanted to help out, but Taeho’s iron grip on him prevented him from doing that.

‘’Jisung!,’’ His father screamed, ‘’Go! Just go!,’’

There was more banging on the door and it terrified Jisung to see that the hinges were starting to give out and his dad struggling to keep the piece of wood in place. Taeho kept tugging but Jisung couldn’t just go. He could not leave his dad here knowing that he would not stand a chance against the guards. As soon as that door was gone and his dad still there, he was not going to survive it. 

He could not go. He could not leave his dad to die on his own and Jisung rather stayed to die with him than to get left behind.

So Jisung screamed and yelled at Taeho to let him go, trying to dig his way out of the older’s grip. 

His dad was growing tired, Jisung could see it. The man was panting and sweating all over and Jisung could see the veins in his neck trying to break themselves free.

Another harsh bang against the door and his dad roared as he kept pushing back.

‘’Taeho! Get Jisung out of here, now!,’’

Now the grip on his arms was growing painful and Jisung couldn’t help but flinch before Taeho started dragging him back with way more force than before and away from his dad.

‘’No!,’’ Jisung screeched, ‘’Dad!,’’

But the distance grew bigger and bigger, Taeho making it impossible for Jisung to move. He could only watch and scream and cry. And all the while his dad kept smiling at him, tears streaming down his face as the door began to give in, the wood cracking and splintering off. Jisung did not miss the words his dad mouthed and it only made him cry harder.

Jisung faintly heard Taeho yelling something at him, his arm wrapping around Jisung’s waist to tug him with him and when they had started rounding the corner and his dad was almost out of sight, the door came crashing down.

Everything slowed down as Jisung saw his dad’s body getting knocked down to the ground, the weight of the door too much for his dad to handle.

Jisung knew that he was screaming – the raw pain in his throat telling him so – but he could not hear it. Everything was muted, except for the buzz in his ears.

His brain fogged over as he got dragged to the back of the house, the warmth of Taeho’s body the only thing keeping him somewhat present while his world narrowed, wrapping around him like vines and suffocating him. 

And Jisung must have had blacked out for a bit because before he knew it, he and Taeho were running down the path behind his house.

He was tripping over his own feet but Taeho’s hand in his prevented him stopping. His lungs were on fire and the adrenaline in his body was not doing what it was supposed to be doing. It was not making him feel stronger, it was not making him more focussed and it was definitely not making his fight or flight instinct kick in.

All Jisung wanted to do was to just _stop_ and let his body crumble to the ground. He did not want to run, he did not want to fight. He wanted this nightmare to just stop.

But then there was Taeho, preventing him from doing all that and he hated him for it. 

Unbeknownst to Jisung, they had reached the main road when they came to a grinding halt, making Jisung crash into Taeho’s back.

‘’Shit…,’’ Taeho hissed, letting go of Jisung’s hand before turning around and stepping closer to Jisung, pushing him a few steps back to where they had come from.

Suddenly, Jisung was pulled into a hug. His head bumped into Taeho’s chest as arms tightly wrapped around his back. Then they swayed to the side as Taeho used all his weight to push them into the wall next to them. The younger winced as his hip crashed into the stone but a hand on his mouth prevented him from letting out a sound. 

He tried to pull back on instinct but Taeho only tightened his hold on him, ‘’Keep still,’’ the older whispered. Jisung breathed through his nose, heavily, and nodded. The hand left his mouth and he looked up at the older. However, Taeho was looking over his shoulder at where the main road was. Jisung then heard a gurgled scream close by and Taeho sucked in a sharp breath as his brows furrowed.

And when Jisung tried to move to look past Taeho to see what was going on, the holder snapped his head back at him and got a hold on the back of Jisung’s neck, forcing his head back to Taeho’s chest and caging him in.

‘’Don’t look,’’

There were more screams of pain and Jisung jolted. His hands shot out to Taeho’s sides and he gripped the fabric of his blouse. Jisung's heavy breathing was exactly that. _Heavy_. It resonated in his own ears and weighted him down, sending his mind into a frenzy as he could almost taste the tension on his tongue. Jisung’s heart pounding so hard in his chest - uncomfortably so – that it almost hurt.

They stayed like that for an eternity and Jisung was sure he was going to pass out soon. There was a pat on the back of his head and Taeho loosened his hold on him. Jisung looked back up and was about to pull away when Taeho let go of him and placed his hands on Jisung’s cheeks, iron grip holding his head locked in position.#

‘’Close your eyes,’’ He whispered and Jisung almost cowered at the look in the older’s eyes.

‘’W-what?,’’ Jisung croaked out.

He could feel his body trembling and he realised that he had never felt so weak before, so on edge.

He was scared.

Jisung was terrified. 

‘’Do you trust me?,’’ Taeho continued.

And no, Jisung did not trust Taeho enough to say yes. However, he did not trust himself either right now. There was too much happening and Jisung did not know what was up and what was down or what was left or right. He could not trust himself to make decisions, good or bad.

So no, Jisung did not trust Taeho but he knew he had to. He had to trust Taeho because he knew that Taeho was the only one left that was capable of getting Jisung to Felix.

He nodded.

‘’Close your eyes and don’t let go of my hand,’’

Jisung was apprehensive. It did not sound like it was going to help them get to Felix faster and closing his eyes meant that Jisung would not be able to _see_ anything. And in this situation, that didn’t sound like a good idea. But no matter how his brain told him not to give up on one of his most important senses – even if it was already clouded by tears - , he listened to Taeho and closed his eyes with a deep breath. As soon as he did, Taeho’s hand once again slotted into his.

Then they were running again, this time a bit slower and in odd zigzags but that didn’t make it less scary for Jisung. As they ran, Jisung automatically focussed on the sounds around him and could hear his feet landing in puddles left and right. For a split second he was wondering how it was possible that there were puddles when it hadn’t rained for a few days.

He could feel his shoes getting soaked and his heart sped up again. 

Water wasn’t lukewarm and sticky. 

Water did not smell like iron. 

He became painfully aware that it wasn’t what he had hoped it was.

Jisung shot his eyes open, unintended, and the first thing he saw where his legs and feet.

And water was most certainly not red.

As quickly as he had opened his eyes, he screwed them shut again. Nausea bubbled up and he had to stop himself from gagging. He gripped Taeho’s hand harder in an attempt to put his focus somewhere else but it didn’t really seem to work.

His whole body was one fire and damp with sweat, but the blood in his veins ran cold. Jisung could smell the stench of fear and terror in the air and it seeped into his body like poison. 

They rounded their fourth corner and even with his eyes closed and mind raging, Jisung knew that they were almost at Felix’s house. It got confirmed when their pace slowed down and Taeho told him to open his eyes again.

They were standing in front of Felix’s house but Jisung did not find the relieve he had been hoping for.

The front door had been knocked off his hinges and Jisung tensed up as he realised that it was a possibility that they were too late.

Without even thinking, Jisung ripped his hand out of Taeho’s and dashed into the house, almost tripping over the broken door as he stumbled in.

‘’Jisung!,’’

He ignored the older and only stopped when he was standing in the middle off the room.

The house was a mess.

The table was laying on it’s side in a corner, chairs were broken, pots and other kitchenware were scattered around and when he looked to his left, his heart dropped to his stomach.

_Felix’s sister._

She was laying on her back, her eyes wide open and Jisung’s world was spinning when he saw the big gash on her throat. Taeho dashed passed him and over to the motionless body on the floor, crouching down next to her. He let out a shaky breath and moved to lay his hand on her eyes, closing them before hanging his head.

This wasn’t real.

This could not be real.

This was just all one big nightmare and he wanted to wake up.

Jisung tore his eyes away from the scene and that’s when he caught it.

 

A trail of blood going towards Felix’s room.

 

Jisung could not tear his eyes away from the crimson on the floor and everything became muddy as thick tears rolled down his cheeks. 

‘’F-Felix?,’’ 

It came out as a mere whisper, far not loud enough to catch anyone’s attention but it was the best Jisung could do. And his body moved on its own as he staggered forward to Felix’s room, his eyes still focussed on the floor.

‘’Lix?,’’ Jisung repeated, a bit louder this time.

He swore he could hear a faint whimper and his muscles tensed up. Then he heard it again and he knew it wasn’t his mind playing tricks on him. So he sprinted towards the sound, almost slipping on the blood on the wooden floor, and he did end up in Felix’s room, only to find more blood. It was on the floor, on the sheets on Felix’s bed…

But no Felix.

And maybe his best friend had gotten away but Jisung was too trapped in this overwhelming terror that he could not see how that could have worked out. There was so much blood that he was convinced that Felix was not here anymore. 

A hand landed on his shoulder and Jisung whimpered, his eyes trained on the bed.

‘’He isn’t here,’’ Taeho whispered from behind him, ‘’I’m sorry,’’

Felix had been around the square as well. After all, they had split up just mere seconds before the Royal Guards had shown up, and if Felix hadn’t made it home by now, he probably hadn’t made it at all.

The image of his best friend bleeding out somewhere in the streets, all alone, flashed through Jisung's mind and he could feel his heart shattering into a million pieces. 

An ugly sob left his mouth and he let himself fall to his knees, ignoring the dull ache that spread through his legs as he came into contact with the hard floor.

This was it.

Jisung wasn’t going to move any further.

If this was where he was going to die, so be it.

First his dad and now Felix…

Jisung had no one left and if that’s how it was going to be, he didn’t want it.

‘’Sung, you have to get up. We’ve got to go,’’ Taeho spoke up but Jisung couldn’t hear him. He could only hear his own crying and it only made him feel worse.

Jisung had never experienced so much sorrow, so much pain, that it sent him spiralling down. He was drowning and it was cold and lonely and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

He hugged himself and curled up, his forehead scraping on the floor but he didn’t care. Then he screamed and screamed until his voice gave out. It felt like his insides were getting shredded, his body shocking while he struggled to breathe.

‘’Jisung?,’’

Everything stilled, an abrupt end to his screams and sobbing, only heavy breathing left.

He lifted up his head and the world stopped as Jisung saw Felix crawling out from under the bed, tears streaming down his face and body covered in blood. Jisung could not believe his eyes as Felix stood up, seemingly unharmed, alive and breathing.

And Jisung clambered to his feet as fast as he could before launching himself at Felix, almost sending them crashing down as he wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into a bone-crushing hug.

Felix was here.

His best friend was still here.

His _brother_ was alive.

‘’I…I t-thought you were d-d-dead!,’’ Jisung managed to say in between sobs.

He could feel his body turn into jello as he soaked up Felix’s warmth. The stress and anxiety seeped out of his body, enabling him to actually _breathe_. Felix pulled him closer, body trembling and Jisung could feel himself getting stained but he did not care. However, it crossed his mind that there was a possibility that it was Felix’s blood - even though he seemed to do fairly well – and so, Jisung pulled away and tugged at Felix’s clothes, trying to get them out of the way to see if his best friend was hurt.

Felix did not cooperate and Jisung felt himself getting agitated as his hands got peeled away over and over again.

‘’Jisung, I’m okay,’’

But Jisung didn’t really hear it. He had to see for himself so he kept tugging. 

‘’Sung, stop. Calm down. He’s okay,’’ Taeho interfered, gently taking a hold of Jisung’s arms.

‘’I’m o-okay,’’ Felix croaked, ‘’But we have to help mom,’’

That made Jisung stop whatever he had been trying to do and he looked up at Felix, ‘’What do you mean?,’’

There was no response and the look in Felix’s eyes turned distant.

‘’Felix, where is you mom?,’’ Taeho spoke up as he softly nudged Jisung to the side, standing in front of Felix and taking a hold of his shoulders, ‘’Is your mom hurt?,’’

A soft whimper left Felix’s mouth and then he pointed. Jisung turned his head to see where Felix was pointing at and he frowned when his eyes landed on the bed. Jisung looked at Taeho and he saw that the older was just as confused as he was.

It was Jisung who decided to move as Taeho tried to get Felix to actually _speak_. He stepped closer to the bed and walked around it to get to the other side. Jisung caught a glimpse of a streak of blood disappearing under the bed and without thinking, he got to his knees. He ignored the sickly feeling on his hands as he placed them down on the floor and he dipped down to look under the bed.

And as soon as he did, he recoiled back, sending himself crashing against the wall. A distressed sound made it past his lips and he could not tear his eyes from the bed. Then Taeho blocked his vision as the older repeated what Jisung had done just seconds prior. Taeho let out a sharp hiss before he spun back around to look at him.

Jisung closed his eyes as his body started shaking again. He willed his mind silent, purposefully throwing his head back into the wall over and over again. His lungs were contracting and preventing oxygen from reaching all the way down and deep into his lungs. He huffed and huffed in an attempt to get his body to stop freaking out.

Then the sound of Felix wailing filled Jisung’s whole being and it was right then and there that his mind came to a grinding halt. He shot his eyes back open and saw Felix curled up on the floor, Taeho wrapped around him and Felix’s mother lying motionless besides them.

And finally, _finally_ , Jisung’s mind cleared up and everything was just gone. His breathing evened out and his heart stopped it’s merciless pace.

Jisung rose to his feet and crossed the little space between him and the other two, his vision oddly lagging while he did so. When he reached his best friend he let himself fall back to his knees behind his hunched-up figure and he leaned onto Felix’s back, his head shocking as a result of Felix’s sobbing.

‘’I’m sorry Felix,’’ Taeho mumbled and Jisung teared up, understanding that Felix had lost not just his sister, but his mother as well.

Jisung hurt. He had grown so attached to Felix’s mom that she almost felt like his own, one he had never had but one that he almost would have had if things hadn’t gone so horribly wrong and his dad had taken the step to finally propose to the woman. It was a loss, a huge loss that Jisung had never seen coming. And he wished he had thanked Felix’s mom when everything was still okay. He had never thanked the woman for looking out for him whenever his dad couldn’t. 

But the worst of all was that Felix had lost it all and Jisung couldn’t stop himself from latching onto the freckled boy, silent tears making their way down his face.

It took a while for Felix to stop and when he did, Jisung could not see that light that was distinctly Felix when he sat himself in front of him. His eyes were dull and it scared Jisung.

Taeho grabbed Felix’s bag off a hook and started rummaging, taking anything that seemed relevant and shoving it in, all the while Jisung ran his thumbs over his best friends face, tracing his cheeks and eyebrows and coming down to the side of his jaw. He did not know what he was doing and if it was even doing anything but he did not retreat. Maybe he was trying to bring that light back, maybe he was hoping that somewhere in there, Felix could _feel_ that Jisung was still with him.

‘’Jeongin!,’’ Jisung suddenly yelled, ‘’We have to get Jeongin!,’’

He turned to Felix and cupped his cheeks, guiding him to look up, ‘’Felix, where is Jeongin?,’’

‘’Home,’’ 

Jisung sprung up and turned to look at Taeho, the latter holding another bag in his hand and looking at him with squinted eyes.

‘’Please Taeho,’’ Jisung whispered, hoping the older would understand.

The older let out a sigh and gave a nod before moving over to Felix, hoisting him to his feet and slung the bag over the freckled boy’s shoulder. Jisung grabbed Felix’s hand and they followed Taeho out of the house and then they were running again.

The screams were less than before but that only made Jisung more anxious as the streets seemed to be too quiet. There were bodies everywhere as they made their way to the farm and it made his stomach twist in ways that Jisung didn’t even think was possible before. But there was no time to stop to think about that. Not when they weren’t in the clear yet, not when Felix kept stumbling over his own feet much like Jisung had done before. Not until they had gotten Jeongin.

Everything was blurry and sharp at the same time and Jisung figured his body was sending mixed signals, not being able to choose between breaking down or keep moving and fighting.

After what felt like forever, they came to a stop near the farm and Taeho pushed them into the bushes next to the road. The Royal Guard was there, rushing into the farm and Jisung felt the heavens coming down on him for what felt like the millionth time today.

He turned to Taeho and the latter shook his head, telling Jisung that there was nothing they could do. However, Jisung had to do _something_. He could not leave Jeongin behind to possibly die, alone.

apparently, his desperation was noticed by the older as Jisung suddenly got pulled closer, Taeho leaning to his ear, ‘’Okay, listen. I’ll go in and get the boy. You get to the back of the farm with Felix and as soon as the boy is out, you’ll run. Understood?,’’

It sounded like a crazy plan, one that was sure to get Taeho killed but Jisung couldn’t help but hope that it would get at least Jeongin out. So he choose to be selfish and nodded.

‘’Good,’’ Taeho replied as he sat back, ‘’Guess this is where we’ll part ways then,’’

Jisung was about to thank Taeho for helping him when lips met his. It was short and soft and it left Jisung baffled.

Taeho distanced himself again and a hand landed on Jisung’s cheek, his eyes sorrowful and determined.

‘’I’m sorry. For everything,’’ The older smiled, his hand caressing Jisung’s cheek.

And Jisung knew that he wasn’t going to miss Taeho. No, whatever their relationship had been prior to everything was too unsettling for Jisung to overlook. However, he was thankful. Without Taeho he had never gotten to Felix and possibly Jeongin unharmed and for that, the older deserved his gratitude.

Jisung had silently wished death upon the older male more often than not, but no one deserved to die like this. No one deserved to get slaughtered and bleed out alone.

So with a heavy heart filled with complex emotions and watery eyes, he turned around and took Felix’s hand and pulled them forward and to the back of the farm, using the bushes and trees around them for cover.

And then they waited and waited, not knowing what was going on inside the house.

It was after agonizing minutes or seconds – Jisung wouldn’t be able to really tell – that a figure came sprinting out of the house from the backdoor. Jisung shot out from the bushes and dashed towards the figure – Felix’s hand tightly clamped around his - after he had determined it was indeed Jeongin. As soon as he reached the younger, he ignored the bleeding slash on Jeongin’s cheek and took his hand as well and tugged both of his friends with him towards the forest without saying anything.

Jeongin was crying, making Jisung’s heart wrench at the painful sound leaving the youngers lips but they had not time to stop. So Jisung kept moving forward and as they reached the first line of trees, he allowed himself to stop for a second to look back.

The village looked so peaceful from where they stood, but the cries gave away that it wasn’t. Jisung could feel the tears run down his cheeks because he just knew that it was the last time he would see the place he had grown up in. He just knew that he was never going to see his dad again, or Mrs. Lee or anyone else he knew for that matter.

 

It was just him, Felix and Jeongin now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm here, I'm not queer but I like... beer? deer? I'm lame and it's currently 4 am where I live so don't judge my insomniac ass okay? xD.
> 
> Long ass chapter but I didn't want to cut it in half right during all the stuff going on. That would be mean and cut the tension?  
> So it turned out to be nineteen pages in word? I normally try to aim for around 7/8 per chapter. woo.hoo.
> 
> I have no clue at all how it feels like to read this chapter when you haven't been freaking writing it for more than a week so please let me know? pretty pleeeaasseee?????
> 
> Action stuff is difficult man...


	9. The Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing¬¬¬
> 
> Listened to _Game of Thrones OST - Victory Does Not Make Us Conquerors_ while writing so you could listen to it while reading? 
> 
> But who am I, telling you what to listen to? Just ignore this old hag over here.

They ran and ran and didn’t stop even though branches were hitting them left and right, scratching their cheeks and necks. The dense forest was making it difficult for Jisung to keep holding on to both boys without losing his grip but he somehow managed to keep them both at his side while dodging the trees.

Jisung didn’t know if it had been a smart move to go through the forest but with everything turning upside-down, he craved for the familiarity of the scenery. It was his safe place and he desperately needed to feel safe. He needed Felix and Jeongin to feel safe. He knew that it probably wouldn’t really do anything for the two boys, but it was all his raging brain could come up with at the moment.

So they kept running – Jisung letting his feet lead the way – until they finally got to where Jisung had wanted to go.

They got to the middle of the little clearing and that’s when Jisung’s legs decided to give out on him. His hands slipped away from the two boys and he landed on his knees harshly, the burning in his lungs finally catching up to him and making him heave for oxygen.

The birds chirped as carelessly as ever and Jisung’s couldn’t help but feel like they were taunting him, pretending nothing had ever happened even though the blood on his hands and clothes told him otherwise. 

Jeongin dropped on the grass next to Jisung, the boy curling in on himself as he sobbed. Jisung took a shaky breath and tried to recollect himself – ignoring the need to throw up the contents of his stomach - before shuffling closer to the younger and pulling him in for a hug.

The younger only started crying harder as he gripped onto Jisung, apparently not caring for all the crimson staining him. Jisung ignored the tears that made their way down his own face as well and rocked Jeongin back and forth in an attempt to soothe him, humming as he did so. And for the umpteenth time in the past hour, he felt his heart shatter as he could feel Jeongin trembling in his arms. He felt so bad. Their lives had been turned upside down in an instant and had forced them to leave their own home, leaving loved-ones behind knowing that the Royal Guard had probably gotten to them.

Jisung shook his head, trying to prevent himself from going down that rabbit-hole as the image of his father, the little boy in the square and Felix’s mother and sister flashed before his eyes. Now was not the time to think about those things. 

He looked over at Felix – who had been incredibly quiet ever since Jisung had found him in his home - and almost winched when he saw that blank stare was still there and he wondered if that little fire was going to be back anytime soon. Probably not but he let himself hope.

After a little while of rocking and humming, Jeongin stopped crying but was still sniffling softly. It was only when he pulled away that Jisung noticed that it had gotten fairly dark outside and that the temperature had dropped quite a bit, making him shiver.

He didn’t know what to do. He was desperately trying to keep it together for both his friends but it dawned on him that he was in no way capable of keeping all of them safe and okay. Not when they only had Felix’s bag and his, one bow and almost no food.

It freaked him out. 

He could not do this.

He saw Felix shiver – Jeongin soon followed – and he knew they had to get inside somewhere. There were a few little villages on the main road to the west of the country but he rather avoided those. It was quite obvious that the Royal Guard would be hanging around and they needed to stay away from them as far as possible, just to be sure.

Suddenly Felix sat down as well and Jisung saw him wrap his arms around himself, probably trying to keep as warm as possible. So Jisung got up and moved to sit next to his friend, taking off his cape and draping it over him. 

‘’Lix? We have to get moving soon okay?,’’ Jisung spoke as he wrapped the cape tighter around the freckled boy.

God was it cold.

Felix just nodded and finally opened his mouth, ‘’Where are we going?,’’

Jisung let a sigh of relieve, happy that his friend seemed somewhat present, ‘’I don’t know Lixie, but we can’t stay here,’’

‘’Hyung,’’ Jeongin suddenly croaked, appearing right next to Jisung and Felix, ‘’There is an abandoned farm about an hour from here. It used to belong to friends of my mother but they packed their bags a few months ago and the farm has been empty ever since then. Maybe we can go there?,’’

Jisung thought about it for a bit and came to the conclusion that it was the best option they had. It wasn’t as if they could just go knocking at the next village, not with the possibility of guards going there next being very real. 

So he nodded and gave Felix’s arm a little squeeze, ‘’Thank you Jeongin, that’s a very good idea,’’

The youngest seemed to light up at that, a smile appearing on his face – albeit a bit strained but that wasn’t weird given the predicament they were in – and Jisung figured that compliments helped the younger feel better.

Jisung managed to get Felix to stand up, locking their fingers together once again and pointed at Jeongin to lead the way. 

‘’Do you know where we need to go from here?,’’ he asked as he adjusted the strap of his bag.

‘’I think so,’’ Jeongin mumbled before looking up at the sky, ‘’The sun is setting in the north, and I know we have to keep it to our left to go east…,’’

Jisung had no idea what he was talking about but he trusted Jeongin to know what he was doing. He was a bit baffled to find out that Jeongin apparently knew stuff like that. After all, Jeongin came from a farmer’s family and for the most part, farmers weren’t exactly the smartest people out there. Not that he was trying to degrade them or anything, but it was true.

Jeongin kept mumbling about the sun and the position of stars and it was interesting how Jeongin had managed to gain that kind of knowledge. Jisung knew the kid was smart but only noble people had access to study advanced subject like that, subjects of which the common people had almost no knowledge of. He decided to ask Jeongin later whenever they had time for that because right now, they needed to get out of here.

 

They made it out of the forest rather quickly thanks to Jisung's vast knowledge of the lay-out of the forest and Jeongin’s skills in celestial navigation, switching from using the sun to using the stars once the sun had disappeared behind the horizon. Jisung was grateful that it was a full moon because he didn't know if it had been that easy to get out of the forest without the strong rays of moonlight illuminating their surroundings, especially because Jeongin lost sight of the sky at some very dense areas.

The forest thinned out and soon they found themselves standing in a field, nothing in sight except for the moon, stars and pitch-black vegetation and Jisung realised he had never been on this side of the forest. 

Well, he had seen the field before but had never dared to step passed the last line of trees. Not that he didn't want to but he knew that he was already playing a dangerous game by venturing that far into the forest. If his dad would find out he had gone even further, he was sure he wasn't even going to be allowed outside for a week - if he was lucky.

"We just have to cross this and go to the left," Jeongin spoke up before moving further into the field. Jisung and Felix followed, letting Jeongin lead the way through the knee-high grass. 

It was deadly quiet except from their breathing and the rustling of grass and to be honest, it made Jisung a bit nervous. There was no sign of life - even the owls were quiet - and that made every little sound so much more terrifying. 

"How much longer?," Felix asked, his eyes big as he kept looking around him. He was probably just as on edge as Jisung was.

Jeongin turned his head, "I think about a league* more,"

So they quietly followed Jeongin, ploughing through the field before turning left on a barely-present road until they finally reached a small structure. In the moonlight it looked like the thing was going to fall apart any second now and Jisung was apprehensive about stepping inside, but he knew they didn’t really have any alternatives. Jeongin announced that it was indeed the place he had referred to and stepped inside, holding the half-rotten door open for Jisung and Felix to step in.

It was almost pitch-black inside but Jisung could see the remains of people having lived in the small house. There was a bed somewhere on his left and a table in front of him, but that was about it. He could feel Felix latch onto his hand again and that’s when Jisung remembered that his best friend didn’t really like the dark. To be fair, no one really did.

Jisung could see Jeongin looking around before he made his way over to wherever. He was about to ask if there was any possibility of obtaining a light-source when a candle lit up, Jeongin standing next to it with – what Jisung assumed – a piece of iron and a flint. Slowly, more and more candles got lit and when Jeongin was done, it actually looked cosy. 

Jisung finally let go of Felix’s hand and moved to the table, taking off his weapon and bag and letting them down on the dingy piece of furniture. 

‘’There should be some food in here…,’’ He mumbled to himself as he dug through his bag. Felix and Jeongin had appeared next to him and were watching over his shoulder when Jisung pulled out a few apples, a loaf of bread and a bottle of… something.

It wasn’t much – barely anything at all, actually – but it would do for now. He handed them and apple each and put the rest of them back in the bag.

They sat on the floor and ate their apples in silence, trying to process everything. The apple tasted like ash in Jisung's mouth but he managed to finish it anyways.

It was when they had managed to cramp themselves into the bed that Jisung noticed how tired he was. Physically and mentally.

His father was gone, Felix’s mother was gone, Felix’s sister was gone, Jeongin’s family was probably gone too…

Jisung felt Felix pulling him closer and Jeongin latching onto his back - probably catching on to Jisung's distress - and that’s when he finally let the tears go. 

The tables had now turned and Jisung let himself melt into his friend’s embrace, not even bothering to muffle his own sobs. He could hear Jeongin humming behind him – just like he had done to calm the younger down before – and it only made him cry harder.

Jisung gripped onto his best friend more and swore to himself that he wasn’t going to lose anyone else.

He wasn’t going to lose Felix and Jeongin.

 

Never.

 

*

 

Minho woke up to the sound of horns and horses galloping into the outer court, the sound too overwhelming to sleep trough it. He rubbed his eyes as he sat himself up before throwing his legs over the side of his bed. The cold hit him immediately and it was when he looked at his balcony that he saw that he had forgotten to close the big window last night, hence the freezing temperature in his room. It also explained why the noise outside had managed to pull him out of his shallow slumber.

He let out a groan as his bare feet hit the stones on the floor before shuffling to his balcony to see what was up. As soon as he stepped outside and looked to his right, he saw an intimidating amount of Royal Guards making their way into the inner courtyard. Minho looked at the scene with narrowed eyes – the early morning sunlight already too bright, causing him to feel slightly nauseous – and took the time to wake up. 

The men descended from their horses and Minho could see a few stable-boys rush about to get the horses to the stables and it was only then that Minho’s brain woke up and told him that the guards had _returned_ , meaning that Chan was supposed to be back as well.

And with that, he rushed back inside and threw on the first clothes he could find before dashing out of his room – not even caring if his hair looked remotely presentable at all.

As he walked down the dimly-lit corridor, Minho could feel his heart going crazy. This was the moment of truth. Chan was either going to be here or not and it terrified him. He did his best to look somewhat relaxed as he walked down the stairs to get to the servant’s quarters. 

It was when he reached the end of the stairs that he could hear the commotion going around. He could not see anyone in the castle but he could hear the voices outside. For a second he wanted to go outside to see if Chan was there, but Chan was just a foot-guard and probably already back in his room. The voices outside most certainly belonged to the cavalrymen.

Minho continued his way into the main hall and was just about to pass one of his father’s private rooms to get to the back of the castle when he heard voices. He stopped dead in his tracks when he realised they came out of the private study.

It was muffled but from where he stood he could hear that his father was probably not happy. It was too loud for him to not be. And even though he had the burning passion to find Chan as quick as possible, he played with the possibility that it was the head of the Royal Guard in the room with his father. The man was probably reporting back about whatever the hell they had been doing the past few days and that meant information.

So like any sane person would do, Minho did a quick scan of his surroundings before deeming it safe to glue himself to the door, pressing his ear against the wood.

The voices were still a bit muffled but if he held his breath and really listened, he could kind off make out what they were saying.

‘’We think he must have run off before we could find him,’’ Someone said.

Yeah, that definitely sounded like one of the head guards. Minho didn’t really remember his name but he knew that the man was practically bald. He could hear his father let out a growl and he knew that he wasn’t happy with whatever the other person had told him.

‘’How is that possible! It should have been easy!,’’ His father bellowed, ‘’How is it possible that a _boy_ manages to outrun professional guards? The Royal Guard at that!,’’

Minho almost flinched at the sudden loudness but he composed himself, trying to keep still to make sure he wouldn’t get caught.

‘’My apologies your Highness…,’’

More inaudible conversation ensued and after way too many minutes, Minho was about to turn away to find Chan – maybe report his findings to Seungmin - when his father raised his volume again.

‘’Are you sure your men didn’t slack off? ,’’

‘’W-we checked the bodies of all the boys in the age-range, your Highness, but none of them matched the description,’’

Minho felt his stomach churn and his face drain. He didn’t know what it was exactly but it made him feel sick.

Bodies? Which bodies? How _many_ bodies?

‘’What about the village? I hope you didn’t screw that up as well, _Captain_ ,’’

‘’No your Highness, we burned it down to the ground like instructed. There’s nothing left but ashes,’’

Minho did not like the sound of that and he cursed under his breath.

‘’Good. At least the boy’s now forced to stay on the move. It won’t take long until he will appear,’’ His father continued, ‘’Gather some of the men and get ready to move out again tomorrow,’’

‘’But Sir, we just returned. Some of the men are injured and can’t travel or fi-,’’

The king cut him off, ‘’It wasn’t a question! It is an order! One I suggest you obey if you still want to have a head tomorrow!,’’

Minho feared for the other man in the room and hoped that his father wouldn’t act on those claims. Everyone made a mistake sometimes and it wasn’t fair to execute someone for it. Maybe some people deserved that but deep down, Minho just knew that his father was being unfair and it was sickening.

He had seen it happen before. Too many times to be precise. He had heard his father yell things alike to plenty of others, only for those people to disappear the next day. But he did not have time to dwell on that as he could hear his father dismiss the man.

Without making a sound, he pulled back from the door and hurried down the hallway. It was when he had rounded the corner that he heard the door open and close and he knew that he had barely cut it.

It was really worrying, everything he had heard. Instead of figuring out what was going on, he had only gotten more confused. As he sneaked his way through the castle, he tried to make something of the conversation he had heard. Apparently, they were looking for a boy, hadn’t found him and burned down a whole village. And to make it een worse, they killed people. He didn’t know how many but from the guard’s words, it was a significant amount.

He kept pondering until he reached Chan’s room. Minho decided that he had enough time to be confused later on and knocked on the door.

It was quiet so he knocked again.

There was no answer and that’s when Minho could feel the fear creep up on him. It was irrational but still very much there and unpleasant.

He was about to pound on the door again when he heard shuffling in the room. Minho could feel his muscles relax and the previous excitement return and he threw the door open. However, that excitement got sucked out of him as soon as his eyes landed on Chan.

He was curled up in a little ball in the corner of the room, hands tugging at his curly hair and heavy breathing coming from his mouth.

Minho stood there, in the door opening, frozen and confused. He had never seen Chan like this and he didn’t know what to do. He was happy that Chan was back, alive and breathing, but the air felt stuffy and alarm-bells were going off inside his head as he stared at the older.

It was when he noticed Chan mumbling that he snapped out of it, closing the door behind him and stalking over to his friend.

‘’Chan?,’’

The older looked up and Minho felt his insides twist as he was met by eyes full off fear and desperation.

Something was wrong.

Very wrong.

‘’Chan, what’s wrong? Are you okay? What happened? Do you need me to call the doctor?,’’ Minho rambled. He was seriously starting to panic. Chan was acting so out of character and it really scared him. 

Chan just let out a deep sigh and ran his hand over his face with trembling fingers, ‘’Minho, could you please leave?,’’

He was definitely not going to do that, not with Chan looking like this. So Minho sat down in front of him instead, ‘’What? No! What is going on?,’’

‘’I’m not supposed to tell you that,’’

Minho was really getting sick and tired of hearing the same thing over and over again. For some reason, it felt like that was the only thing he had heard the past days and he was done with it. He was seriously going to explode or combust if someone was going to tell him that one more time.

‘’Okay listen. Fuck the rules okay? You are going to tell me what is up because, clearly, you’re _not_ doing so well,’’

There was another sigh and Chan finally uncurled himself but made no move to change the position he was in.

‘’You know what? You are right… Fuck this,’’ Chan replied before running his hands over his face again.

They sat in silence for way too long but Minho wasn’t going to push even further. He was going to wait patiently for the older to start talking.

And talking he did.

Chan explained how they had left that one morning, no one really knowing what it was that they were going to be doing until they had set up camp that night. They had been told that they were going to a village called Bidueiro because, apparently, that’s where the core figures of the rebellion lived. Minho didn’t really get what was so upsetting about that but he figured that the bad part was yet to come – the way Chan took a shaky breath and stopped talking gave it away.

It took forever for Chan to continue, but when he did, Minho learned that they had gotten the order to look for a boy with blonde hair and light-brown eyes, around the age of eighteen. For what reasons? Chan did not have an explanation for that. The older continued and told Minho that they were told to get the boy by any means, even if it meant to get rid of everyone that stood in their way.

‘’They were innocent people…,’’ Chan whispered. 

Minho frowned and ducked his head to look the older in the eyes, ‘’What do you mean?,’’

‘’They just killed innocent people,’’

The words took a while to settle in Minho’s brain but when they did, he couldn’t really believe them. There was no way that the Royal Guard would do that. Right?

‘’Chan, are you sure? Like, maybe you just imagined it?,’’

Minho knew that Chan would never voice his concerns if they weren’t fully thought out and rationalised, meaning that there really was a reason for his distress and the older was probably right and his distress justified.

Chan lifted his head up before getting on his feet, ‘’I’m not crazy Minho. I know what I saw and what I saw were dozens of villagers getting slaughtered in the middle of the street. Children even, Minho, god damn children!,’’

And that sent a shock through Minho’s body. ‘’W-what?,’’

Chan let out a frustrated growl and started pacing. It made Minho only more nervous and combined with the new information he could feel his lungs contracting painfully.

‘’What do you mean, c-children?,’’ He stuttered.

‘’Just that, Minho. The guards just… I… It’s-,’’

Minho saw a flash of hurt in Chan’s face and he just knew that he had seen something that was too horrible for him to process. 

‘’What happened?,’’ Minho asked again, his voice cracking painfully.

‘’The blood. There was so much blood and the cries… the cries were horrible Minho,’’

The older let himself fall so his knees and hid his face in his hands. Silent cries filled the air and Minho sprung up and rushed next to his friend, wrapping his arms around him as Chan’s body trembled. He was shocked. 

‘’They killed so many children,’’ Chan croaked out, ‘’The way they cried for their parents as they bled out was the most horrendous sound I have ever heard.’’

Minho could just picture it and his eyes welled up as well. Something very wrong was going on and the fact that it was his father’s guards made him feel nauseous. He knew the Royal Guard was loyal, never doing anything without an order and that was the worst part. It started to dawn on Minho that maybe they had just carried out his father’s orders and that made everything so much worse.

‘’C-chan?,’’ Minho said as he patted his friend’s back, ‘’We’ll figure it out. Maybe you should go to sleep and we’ll worry about it tomorrow okay?,’’

With that, Chan moved back and nodded his head before heaving himself off of the floor, ‘’I’m sorry Minho. I should have kept my mouth shut,’’

Minho got up as well and got a hold of Chan’s shoulders, ‘’Hey, we’re friends. It’s okay for you to come to me whenever it is too much. You have been doing the same for me for years so let me help you out for once,’’

Chan just gave a weak nod and even though Minho really wanted to know what Chan’s role had been in all of this, he pushed it away and dragged his friend to the bed instead.

It didn’t even take a minute for the older to fall asleep after Minho had gotten him into his bed and even though Minho ached to find Seungmin, he stayed seated on the bed next to him, waiting until he was sure the older was asleep.

Minho let out a sigh as he looked at his friend.

Chan being _this_ upset meant that things were really messed up and Minho suddenly wasn’t sure if he really wanted to know the truth anymore.

Not if this would be the result.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Found some scenes I had already written and boooiiiiii can't wait for when you guys read them...
> 
> Anywhoes, let me know what you think of the chapter/story in general ^^
> 
> Sorry that the updates are kinda slow, but I've found out about the wonderous world of One Shots and lemme tell you... I'm writing too many and have too many plots in mind ^^


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